RIP George

Our first weekend in Mexico was nothing it not eventful.  Alberto made sure to warn me that we would be getting up very early in the morning because we stayed the night in Mexico City instead of driving straight to his mother's house from the airport as he'd planned.  When the alarm went off at 5 am I awoke to find myself more or less pinned to the bed by my snoring yet adorable husband.  I can't remember the last time I slept in a twin-sized bed but thankfully having less space makes it harder to be a bed hog.  I remember many nights where I would wake up clinging to the edge of our full size bed to keep from falling off, and having to wrench the blankets away from Alberto so I wouldn't become an ice cube by morning.

I kissed my husband lightly on the cheek and snuggled closer to prolong the simple pleasure of waking up with the man I love.  He stretched as he woke and I saw the moment when he realized that I was really there lying in bed with him.  A beautiful smile of contentment spread across his face and mirrored my own smile.  We looked over at Ashley who was still out cold on the couch and I had to chuckle at the look on Alberto face.  The best way to describe how Ashley sleeps is to think of the child pose in yoga, which is very comfortable and all that but I don't think I could sleep on my face all night.  We decided to leave Ashley in her pajamas and let her sleep during the trip.  It was time to get up and dressed so we could load my suitcases into the van.

I could really use a wish right now…

So on Tuesday morning I received an email from the attorney that the Judge rescheduled our court date.  We’ve been pushed back a week because the prosecutor is mired in a murder trial right now that they expect to spill over into next week.  It was a relief really because now we have more time to prepare for the trial, meaning more time for Brian to get his shit together.  The witness interviews took place on Tuesday evening at 5 pm, though they did not go as I had expected.  David, my brother-in-law, asked me to be there for the interviews so that ‘esos güeys’ would actually show up for the interviews.  So I emailed Brian to let him know I would be there which prompted him to cancel the interpreter since I could provide the service for him.  I said that I wasn’t really comfortable with this and stated why, to which he responded “I just need a mouth piece.”  Seriously Brian, what the hell? 

The interviews went well and the witnesses are in sync with one another without having the same story (which would be the case if they were lying).  Alberto on the other hand, will not be allowed to testify during the trial because his story is too different from what the 3 amigos had to say.  I chalk this up to someone telling Alberto a couple of times how they think everything happened until he believed that’s what he witnessed; it’s actually an interrogation tactic that is proven to coerce false confessions from innocent people.  Alberto is very susceptible to suggestion and he can have a difficult time remembering facts which were pointed out during his psychologist evaluation that was required before his first visa appointment because he had an arrest record.  The psychologist asked him for dates and details of his arrests that Alberto doesn’t remember, so the psychologist asked if he should mark Alberto down as a retraso mental.  Alberto said that the psychologist was joking, and apparently he guy was very nice and actually friendly.

We have normality…

I wasn’t expecting the peace treaty to last this long, but discord has been restored to my life.  Forgive me for not jumping for joy and, might I add, it was not my fault!  I have deliberately avoiding talking about anything remotely connected to the case because Alberto gets upset when I have words with his madre querida.  I’m sorry Caro, but Gisela is so pessimistic about everything that I never walk away unaffected.  I am always enraged when she attempts to force her opinion down my throat with her incessant preaching.  Today it was about the criminal case again and I tried to end the conversation and leave several times but she just kept talking.  I tried telling her that I could not talk about the case with her anymore because it upsets me.  Her response was to tell me it upsets her too and to continue pontificating about it!  She kept saying I need to make sure I tell the attorney this is what happened and that she knows how it started.  She knows better than Alberto who was actually present, and all of the witnesses have got it all wrong.  She is adamant that the justice system here is just as crooked as Mexico and we will soon see her innocent son locked away for good.  Now do you see why I generally avoid her even though acknowledging that I do so makes me feel like a bad nuera?  Avoiding Gisela irritates my darling husband and I simply can’t bear it when he’s mad at me.

What in the bloody hell is she basing this opinion of our justice system on anyhow?  Is it the fact that her innocent son Caña was ‘falsely’ convicted and sentenced to 4 years in prison for assault?  Maybe she’s referring to the time Caña was ‘accused’ of hitting Roscio while she was holding their child, you know despite the fact we all witnessed that particular incident.  Then there was the time that Caña tried to hit his sister Liz with a beer bottle and had to be restrained by force until the police showed up to arrest him?  Four years ago Alberto showed me some papers because he wanted to know what they were.  It was a restraining order filed by Roscio against Caña during her smarter days.  I surely cannot comprehend how such a sterling example of honorability and manhood could have possibly done what he was locked up for.  My mother-in-law acknowledges that her son deserves to be in jail for the things he’s done in his life, just not for beating the hell out of Nemesio.  Someone once said that ‘logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence’.  If you use that definition, then Gisela is quite logical.

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I took a half day at work today since I have to work on Saturday.  I can only work 40 hours in a given week so when I neglect to plan ahead for just this occasion, I end up with a half day instead of a full day off during the week.  I had plans at one point to meet some people for lunch, but when that fell through I had a backup plan that took the cake.  I made myself an appointment at Massage Envy and found heaven in an hour for $39 plus tax and tip.  The majority of the time was spent on my upper back and Sarah managed to beat my knots into submission.  I felt good for the first time in about two weeks!    After my massage was over and the sales girl was giving me her spiel about their membership program and my recommended wellness schedule, I reluctantly declined membership since $49 per month is not feasible.  See how low I have sunk that a paltry $49 per month is undoable?  Maybe if I go every three months the $65 per hour long session will seem like a good investment.

My next stop was lunch, and there was a Chipotle just down the strip calling my name.  I entered the restaurant and stopped cold right inside the door.  What the hell was the music they were playing?  It sounded more like new age instead of Mexican.  I approached the counter with apprehension.  What is this?  Where are all the Hispanic men and women that could correctly pronounce ‘carnitas’ and ‘barbacoa’?  It was then I remembered the reason I had avoided Chipotle for so long; the mass firings in December 2010 of the Latino workers who made Chipotle one of my favorite restaurants.  Where is the Hispana who chatted with the hugely pregnant white girl that spoke Spanish?  I even showed her baby pictures since I was there so often since Alberto had cravings for Chipotle at least once a week.  She is gone now, replaced by new workers who have sucked the joy out of my burrito. I have officially scratched Chipotle off my list of desirable fast-food options, and I will now have a moment of silence for my loss. ***SILENCE***  Ok, I’m done now.

Wonderful things come in small packages

Yesterday the mailman brought me something wonderful, a letter from Alberto!  Well actually it was three letters in a single envelope, but I was happy to have gotten something from him at all.  When he called me just as we were sitting down to dinner I got to tell him how happy it made me to get letters from him.  He jokingly asked me if I could read what he wrote, and I informed him I was an experienced interpreter of his letters.  The reason he asked me this question is that Alberto never finished high school and I believe his education more or less ended by the time he was 14.  His handwriting is poor at best and his spelling is pretty bad as well so it can be difficult to determine what he is trying to say.  He attended school here in the US for a couple of months to a year, but due to circumstances his family pulled him from school and sent him to work.  He told me several years ago that the reason he stopped going to school is because his cousins were trying to initiate him into their gang, Los Sureños, and his sisters intervened to save their youngest brother.  Knowing what I do about that particular gang and about his cousins, I am truly grateful that Yesica and Rosa moved to protect Alberto for their bad influence.  It was several months later that I actually met Alberto while working at McDonalds and our story began.  Anyway, in his letters he refers to me as mujer mia and mi amor several times which is probably the most romantic he’s ever been that I can recall.  I will say that it is difficult loving a Mexican man because the majority of them are constipated when it comes to emotions; it takes a laxative (beer) and great pain (the threat of a hangover) for them to confess their love.  Watch a George Lopez special, he does a bit about this and it wouldn’t be that funny if it wasn’t true.

I'm miffed that I can't go and see Alberto on Monday as we usually do because of the Holiday.  At this I have to admit that being in jail has apparently been good for Alberto since he’s found faith again after being without it for so long.  He writes to me about trusting in God and how he is content with just being about to see us after so long.  This change is mostly amazing to me since for years Alberto would only go to church on holy holidays and even then it was grudgingly.  Ok, so I promised myself that I wouldn’t get preachy because I know how much it irritates me when someone tries to force their beliefs or lack thereof down my throat.  I am not saying that my beliefs are better, but they are my beliefs and shall stay that way.  The first amendment to the Constitution was the freedom of religion, press, and expression.  With that said if you happen to pray, please take a moment and pray that justice may be served for us this coming week.

*CAUTION* Anger management in progress…

Remember what I said before about walking away from additional anxieties?  I have more to add to the list apparently.  I know that I have mentioned my mother-in-law Gisela in this blog before and here I will mention her yet again.  Today was visiting day, so I arrived at Gisela’s to pick up Ashley at a quarter after 4 or thereabouts.  When I walk in the door I don’t really notice anything out of the ordinary so I proceed to herd Ashley into the kitchen to wash her face and hands since she is always covered in some sort of food.  We go back to the living room and Anita keeps urging Jimena to ‘tell her’.  Trying not to sigh, I ask what is going on and Jimena says that my daughter cut her.  Jimena comes over and uncovers her pinkie to show me a gash about half an inch long right over her knuckle.  Completely horrified I demanded to know what had happened.

Jimena tells me that Ashley had picked up a knife and was playing with it when Jimena intervened and attempted to take it away from Ashley.  Ashley then accidentally cut Jimena’s finger with the knife while trying to keep possession of it.  I could feel my blood pressure rising as I started questioning Anita and Jimena about first aid supplies so I could properly cut and wrap the cut.  They don’t have any supplies in the house to speak of because the girls keep using up all the Band-Aids.  As I look at the cut again, it occurs to me to ask if Jimena has health insurance right now and if someone could take her to the doctor to get it cleaned and closed since it probably needs stitches.  Jimena has coverage, but no one in the house can drive and are even less inclined to do anything about the injury.  I went upstairs to talk to Gisela and retrieve Ashley’s bag and was met with resistance.  “I can’t drive so how am I going to take her to the doctor?  It will close on its own.”  By this time I had reached the end of my tolerance and had to leave immediately before saying or doing something I would regret later.  I told Jimena to keep the wound clean, dry, and to try to get someone buy some Band-Aids and an antibiotic for her to use.  I left as soon as this was said for the good of the children.

Living the dream

On Thursday after work I took Ashley to a pediatric dental office to have them look at her amazing Technicolor tooth.  I tried to leave work by a specific time to get to my mother-in-law’s house early enough to avoid any of the predicable delays, only it just didn’t work out for me.  I had to help Judy find some registrations that I entered for a special program, so that put me behind a good 15 minutes.  Judy is so nice about the hundreds of questions that I ask her on any given day, so I was glad to be able to help her out.  I rushed out of work and drove to Gisela’s house as fast as the law would allow.  I swear I got a red light at every single intersection I came across!  So I get to Gisela’s and immediately my eyes are drawn to the sleeping form on my daughter on the couch, still in her pajamas no less!  Now I know for a fact I had mentioned this appointment three times during the week and twice in the morning.  Gisela asked me what I was doing there so early and suddenly remembered about the appointment I had told her about.  I set my nieces about to finding Ashley’s shoes and socks while I woke her up as slowly as possible and changed her clothing.  She was also covered head to toe in mugre and sweat so she didn’t exactly smell like a flor either.  I managed to get my complaining daughter changed and wiped down with a damp cloth.

I hustled us into the car and stowed the bag with Ashley’s clothes and diapers and off we went.  There was no help for it at this point; we were going to be late.  Anyone who knows me knows just how much I despise being late for anything.  On a typical day I am at work at least 30 minutes before the start of my shift and I’m out of sorts if I’m not early.  Anyway, we were making good time until we got to a certain portion of the freeway less than a mile from our destination where traffic slowed to a crawl.  It was at that point when the receptionist from the dental office called me to make sure I was aware of our appointment.  I advised the receptionist that we were less than a mile from their office but stuck in traffic at the moment.  She said that if we were more than 15 minutes late, we would lose our chance to be seen and a fee would be assessed for insufficient notice since they have a 24 hours policy.  We managed to arrive at the office exactly 10 minutes after our set appointment time.  I spent the next 10 minutes filling out paperwork while Ashley played with the toys in the lobby.  By this point she was actually in a rather good mood which is rare when you have to wake her up from her nap.  We were shown back to the exam area and Ashley sat on the chair all by herself.  The dental assistant looked at the tooth in question and checked for any sign that would indicate a problem.  Ashley was not happy at all after the initial exam since the dental assistant had to push and pull on her tooth and the surrounding gums.  They decided they needed an x-ray so she had me sit down in the exam chair and hold Ashley on my lap.  As she draped the lead apron draped over us, she asked me if there was any chance of my being pregnant.  I started laughing.  I just couldn’t help it!  Luckily she took that as a no and didn’t ask for an explanation.  We had to restrain Ashley for the x-ray because the bite thing they use was a little too big for her mouth so she fought it.  The x-ray was clean; there was no damage to the root so I was told what signs to watch for regarding the tooth.  Otherwise Ashley is doing well with her teeth and doesn’t need her first real visit until her last molar comes in which should be within the next six months.  Beautiful, one less thing I need to worry about!  I am so happy I have such a healthy, mostly well behaved girl.  I attribute the mostly well behaved part to her being a normal toddler, which also makes her highly entertaining.  My favorite thing that she does these days is when she wants to play with me or my mother.  She jumps and waves her arms while singing, “boo boo, boo boo!”  That is her version of the classic taunt, ‘nana nana boo boo’ which only makes it funnier when she does it. 

And Friday was not much better

I think the title says it all.  After the issues I had with Ashley and pink eye in the morning, I decided it was best for me to stay home today and care for my daughter.  I did this knowing that I will be short on hours this week and I can’t make them up.  I’m a seasonal staff member at my place of employment, so I don’t have any options like PTO or sick time for this fiasco.  I absolutely hate staying home unless it is: covered by PTO, covered by Sick Time, or absolutely unavoidable.  I’m the kind of person who stays home only if I’ve vomited in the last few hours, am too dizzy to walk, or I have a fever of 101° or more.  I think this stems from being the sole breadwinner for so long and from my three month stint of being unemployed.  I’ve found that I go crazy when I’m not working, although I would be willing to try this experiment again once we’re living together on our own.  A major issue I had with being home all day was being here with my father who was laid off a few years ago and still is unable to find a job.  The sad thing is we were better off financially when I wasn’t working because my benefits covered all the bills with some extra for essentials.  Now I can barely make ends meet and I have fallen behind on some of my bills because of gas and childcare expenses. 

Childcare expenses, so you see I am paying my mother-in-law for watching my daughter get into trouble because no one is watching her closely enough.  I have a few examples, but the one that is currently pissing me off the most is this one:  I arrive to pick my daughter up just like every other day and everyone is out front because the heat in the house was oppressive.  I went in the house to get Ashley’s bag when my niece Jimena comes up and says that my daughter broke her Nintendo DS.  I ask her how Ashley managed to do that and Jimena tells me that she threw the DS out of the second story window of the house.  I am shocked by this revelation because Ashley does not throw things when we’re at home, let alone out of a window.  My mother-in-law Gisela confirms the story; Ashley was in her bedroom and chucked the game out of the window.  Gisela then proceeds to tell me how a few days prior Ashley had gotten into someone else’s room and tossed a bunch of clothing and a bottle of cologne out of his bedroom window.  I can’t remember exactly who said that I was on the hook to replace the game, but it was at this point I got mad.  To make sure I wouldn’t say something I would later regret, I picked up Ashley and left. What the hell is Gisela doing during the day if she’s not keeping an eye on my daughter whom she insisted she be allowed to care for?  The fact that Ashley did it a second time and it is going to cost me money to replace a broken object makes my blood boil.  She was obviously never yelled at the first time around.  Mind you this is only the most recent offense.  Also she would not have been able to toss anything out of the window if the screens were not in tatters on all the windows.