Fortune 500 Company

After a few months adrift I've got a contract position starting next week that has the potential to lead to bigger things.  It's with a Fortune 500 company that headquarters here in the frozen north and it's along the lines of my educational aspirations.  As of Monday I will be a Contract Accounts Payable peon for the next 9 months.  I'm not sure what to expect, but I certainly hope they have decent technology since it is such a huge company.  I refuse to weave my hopes and dreams around the possibility of a future with this conveniently located company that offers phenomenal benefits.  The future is now, and the only option it to keep moving forward.

I really needed some good new this week with Alberto's birthday coming up and Ashley's birthday following soon afterwards.  My love is going to be 28 this year, and our daughter will be 6 years old.  I have been feeling increasingly numb these past few weeks, which I have been attributing to the birthdays this month and the fact that our 7th wedding anniversary is in December.  I try to maintain my realistic, if not optimistic, outlook on life but it is becoming increasingly difficult as I get older.  I wonder when I will find my first gray hair.

A day of cleansing pain and whirling thoughts

Today was difficult to say the least.  This morning was the meeting of our Support Group for women who are married to Hispanic men, and it was my turn to tell the story of us.  I had prepared a story, thinking that if I could detach myself even a little bit I would be able to stay composed.  I minute I looked at the story typed neatly in my hand, I promptly burst into tears.  I told our story through a torrent of tears and emotional pain that I had no way of controlling.  I felt as though I was exposing my damaged soul for all to see, and for once I was not judged.  These women did not shut off their minds at the mention of undocumented immigration, or the situation that ultimately caused the dominoes to begin to fall.  They saw me as a survivor of a succession of shattering events.  They saw a family separated, a fatherless child.  They saw us, the Mendez family.  The simple kindness I was shown as gone a long way to restore my faith in people, and I have to thank my case manager for leading me to this group.

One of the women brought her son who was only 7 weeks old.  He is such a beautiful little boy with big eyes, and Ashley spent a significant amount of time kneeling and watching him.  Every time I looked over and saw Ashley, I couldn’t help but think to myself that Ashley was that size when Alberto left the United States.