RIP George

Our first weekend in Mexico was nothing it not eventful.  Alberto made sure to warn me that we would be getting up very early in the morning because we stayed the night in Mexico City instead of driving straight to his mother's house from the airport as he'd planned.  When the alarm went off at 5 am I awoke to find myself more or less pinned to the bed by my snoring yet adorable husband.  I can't remember the last time I slept in a twin-sized bed but thankfully having less space makes it harder to be a bed hog.  I remember many nights where I would wake up clinging to the edge of our full size bed to keep from falling off, and having to wrench the blankets away from Alberto so I wouldn't become an ice cube by morning.

I kissed my husband lightly on the cheek and snuggled closer to prolong the simple pleasure of waking up with the man I love.  He stretched as he woke and I saw the moment when he realized that I was really there lying in bed with him.  A beautiful smile of contentment spread across his face and mirrored my own smile.  We looked over at Ashley who was still out cold on the couch and I had to chuckle at the look on Alberto face.  The best way to describe how Ashley sleeps is to think of the child pose in yoga, which is very comfortable and all that but I don't think I could sleep on my face all night.  We decided to leave Ashley in her pajamas and let her sleep during the trip.  It was time to get up and dressed so we could load my suitcases into the van.

‘Get Out of Relationship Free’ Card

I know my mother-in-law doesn’t necessarily talk to me about the family issues, but I really don’t like being taken by surprise by problems.  My husband asked me if I knew why Dacia left her boyfriend and said that he was told there had been abuse within the relationship.  Now I know Dacia’s father Ignacio has been abusive to my sister-in-law and Dacia has pleaded with her mother to leave him before, so I was surprised to hear this.  I promised I would find out what I could and tell him what I’d learned at our next visit.  I talked to my mother-in-law and she told me that Roberto had hit Dacia several times and even cut her once with a razor when they had been fighting.  I was shocked, but the only other thing Gisela could tell me is that Dacia’s father told her to come to Mexico with Junior.

As luck would have it, Dacia decided to visit her uncle today so I had the opportunity to speak with her alone.  I didn’t ask her about the situation on our way to the jail, but instead used what she said to Alberto during the visit as the foundation for my own questions.  She asked me about traveling to Mexico and what Junior would need to fly, or to cross the border in a car.  She wouldn’t be able to fly to Mexico with Junior if he didn’t have a passport, but they could cross the border in a vehicle as long as she had a certified copy of his birth certificate.  I told her it was in her best interest to apply for Junior’s passport and postpone traveling until she had it, but that apparently is not an option.  It’s something she needs to take care of as soon as possible or Junior will have trouble getting one in the future if the USCIS decides to claim he stole someone else’s identity.  I asked her why she was leaving all of a sudden and she told me she did something stupid; she went out with another guy.  I asked if the relationship could be fixed or was Roberto abusive.  She told me Roberto wants her to come back to him, but she doesn’t want to be with him anymore because he’s too jealous.  She stated that he wasn’t abusive to her or their son; she just didn’t want to deal with his jealousies anymore.  She sheepishly told me that she wove a story for her Abuelita about abuse because she was afraid that Gisela wouldn’t let her come home if she knew the truth.  I said something about the fact that Roberto is a Mexican/Chicano male, implying that she should’ve known he would be somewhat jealous.  Alberto was the same way when he was Roberto’s age, that’s why I quit working at McDonalds – we were fighting all the time over stupid things.

I could really use a wish right now…

So on Tuesday morning I received an email from the attorney that the Judge rescheduled our court date.  We’ve been pushed back a week because the prosecutor is mired in a murder trial right now that they expect to spill over into next week.  It was a relief really because now we have more time to prepare for the trial, meaning more time for Brian to get his shit together.  The witness interviews took place on Tuesday evening at 5 pm, though they did not go as I had expected.  David, my brother-in-law, asked me to be there for the interviews so that ‘esos güeys’ would actually show up for the interviews.  So I emailed Brian to let him know I would be there which prompted him to cancel the interpreter since I could provide the service for him.  I said that I wasn’t really comfortable with this and stated why, to which he responded “I just need a mouth piece.”  Seriously Brian, what the hell? 

The interviews went well and the witnesses are in sync with one another without having the same story (which would be the case if they were lying).  Alberto on the other hand, will not be allowed to testify during the trial because his story is too different from what the 3 amigos had to say.  I chalk this up to someone telling Alberto a couple of times how they think everything happened until he believed that’s what he witnessed; it’s actually an interrogation tactic that is proven to coerce false confessions from innocent people.  Alberto is very susceptible to suggestion and he can have a difficult time remembering facts which were pointed out during his psychologist evaluation that was required before his first visa appointment because he had an arrest record.  The psychologist asked him for dates and details of his arrests that Alberto doesn’t remember, so the psychologist asked if he should mark Alberto down as a retraso mental.  Alberto said that the psychologist was joking, and apparently he guy was very nice and actually friendly.

Independence Day

This weekend has been interesting to say the least.  On Saturday I got up extra early and hoofed it downtown to see Alberto in Jail.  I arrived at the Jail by 7:10 am and I was in the 3rd person in line.  By 7:30 am the line had grown to over 20 people so I was glad that I was down there early.  I felt guilty about going to visit Alberto without Ashley, but since I had to work afterwards I just couldn’t justify yanking her out of bed and driving an extra 20 miles.  He was so surprised to see me and I was worth it to see the smile wash over his face.  He picked up his phone and told me that when his name was called he was wondering who would be coming here to see him on a Saturday.  I told him that since I couldn’t see him on Monday, I had decided to see if I could get in to see him on Saturday.  We talked about a few different things, but the one topic that sticks in my mind was regarding Ashley. 

I think I mentioned it before that one of my in-laws had started telling Ashley that ‘Chucky’ was hiding in dark rooms waiting to get her.  We think it was little Maria because she seems to be the only one who believes in that still.  I think she is going to be five this year, but with so many nieces and nephews in Alberto’s family it’s amazing that I remember everyone’s name.  Anyway, Ashley finally stopped talking about ‘Chucky’ a few days ago although she still doesn’t want to go into dark rooms alone.  Instead now she talks to me every night about monsters.  Dios mio Ashley, you don’t want to go around thinking about monsters every night or you’ll end up just like your pobre Mamí. 

Not such a bad mom after all…

Today was Ashley’s open house for a summer preschool program.  A few interesting things happened and I learned that I am not a bad parent, nor is my daughter nearly as bad as I feared.  Ashley is stubborn like me and her father.  I’m hoping as she gets older we will be able to channel this into something good, but right now it means she refuses to be potty-trained.  This is a problem because she cannot attend the program that I am paying for until she is potty-trained.  I can cancel any sessions up to the Monday beforehand without any fees being tacked on, so I need to either get her potty trained this weekend, or get the first session canceled on Monday.  Here’s the funny thing, she knows when she has to go but will only tell me if she is in the bathtub.  I think this has to do with the last time she pooped in the tub and I was sternly disappointed.  I wish I could remember the incident clearly because she hasn’t had an accident in the bathtub since then.

Anyway at the open house there was this pretty little blond girl.  For the longest time I couldn’t figure out who her parents were because no one was keeping an eye on her that I could tell and there were no natural blondes among the parents.  Well during the open house when my mom had her back in the classroom since she was being a little girl, Blondie started pushing Ashley around and taking toys away from her.  I don’t know this was happening so when we migrated back to the classroom I was oblivious to this history.  At one point during the presentation on the program, Ashley went to the back of the room where one of the teachers was and discovered a hamster in a cage.  She watched his animal in his cage intently for several minutes when Blondie came over and pushed her out of the way.  I went to get out of my chair but the teacher motioned that it was ok, so I decided to wait and see what would happen next.  (Which is my favorite thing to do!)  Blondie kept pushing Ashley, and Ashley kept pushing back.  After several minutes passed, I retrieved Ashley and had her sit with me for a while.  Ashley stayed away from Blondie at that point.

The Consequences

Tonight is pretty much guaranteed to be horrible and there’s not much I can do about it. Tomorrow is the next big appointment for Alberto with immigration and anxious does not begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. I’ve tried to push this from my mind all weekend, and thankfully we had a family get together that helped me do just that. I was never able to go and get that pedicure with Lizzy that I was counting on for relaxation, but I’ve gotten pretty good at handling mild anxiety these last few years. I swear I wasn’t a basket case like I am now even 4 years ago.

Noemi in CDJ contacted me around 10pm to tell me that Alberto had called her husband Agustin from the bus station. Agustin left immediately to go get Alberto from the bus station because it is not safe to be out after dark in Ciudad Juarez. If you need an example of just how dangerous CDJ is consider this: on March 13, 2010 the spouse of a consulate worker was killed while his two young children in the vehicle at the time were wounded, only minutes later an employee of the consulate was shot and killed along with her husband while their infant wailed in the backseat. If you consider the first victim was a Mexican National, you cannot simply say this was a demonstration of violence against Americans. I’m afraid for the safety of my husband, and more than a little angry that the USCIS thinks nothing of causing me this extreme level of anxiety.

A fairy tale? Probably not...

Once upon a time, in the land of ten thousand lakes, there was a mostly unhappy teenage girl.  Although it is fairly common to be an unhappy teenager, this particular girl could not remember ever being mostly happy.  This girl had always felt alone, even when in the company of the few people she considered friends.  She was a target of school bullies for being overweight, socially awkward, and tall since the very beginning of middle school.  The worst part is that this mostly unhappy teenage girl was me.

In effort to get me out of the house during non-school hours, my mother suggested that I find a part-time job.  The options were limited near our house for someone my age; however I applied and was hired at McDonalds while I was in September of 2000.  I had no idea just how much that battered brick building was about to change my life.