Fortune 500 Company

After a few months adrift I've got a contract position starting next week that has the potential to lead to bigger things.  It's with a Fortune 500 company that headquarters here in the frozen north and it's along the lines of my educational aspirations.  As of Monday I will be a Contract Accounts Payable peon for the next 9 months.  I'm not sure what to expect, but I certainly hope they have decent technology since it is such a huge company.  I refuse to weave my hopes and dreams around the possibility of a future with this conveniently located company that offers phenomenal benefits.  The future is now, and the only option it to keep moving forward.

I really needed some good new this week with Alberto's birthday coming up and Ashley's birthday following soon afterwards.  My love is going to be 28 this year, and our daughter will be 6 years old.  I have been feeling increasingly numb these past few weeks, which I have been attributing to the birthdays this month and the fact that our 7th wedding anniversary is in December.  I try to maintain my realistic, if not optimistic, outlook on life but it is becoming increasingly difficult as I get older.  I wonder when I will find my first gray hair.

All Hallows Eve

I just have to breathe in, exhale, and repeat. I’ve turned in my evidence, picked out my outfit, and worked out my schedule to the minute. My information packet was over 200 pages, and included some unusual sources such as the visitor records from the County Jail where Alberto was held the longest.

I’ve had my meeting with Lance to prepare for the interview tomorrow. He said that the interviewer needs to like me, so I need to keep my temper in check. I’ve been practicing some breathing techniques and some of the answers to anticipated questions that could set me off. Lance made sure to tell me what to expect during the interview and let me know that it will be his job to get mad regarding all these extra steps we’ve had to take because of USCIS errors. I’ve repacked my purse, removing anything that is not essential and my dangerous weapons (i.e. small manicure set). I have the passports, a wallet-size picture of Ashley, and my bracelet that will supposedly protect me against the evil eye. I’ve always thought it was funny how superstitious a person can get on the night before or day of an important event.

Crafting Arrows for Battle

I received the I-130 interview letter this week from the USCIS. Molly sent me a copy via email along with a memorandum that outlines the categories for which I should supply proofs to support the status of our very real relationship. The 5 categories that I need to cover are: 1) Evidence of Visits and Communication, 2) Financial Records for Joint Assets or Liabilities, 3) Birth Certificate of Child Born to the Marriage, 4) Statements from at Least Three Persons, 5) Other Evidence Establishing a Bona Fide Relationship. I immediately made a list of what I had in my files or could obtain and sent that information back to Molly asking if there was anything I might be overlooking. I also mentioned that some of the documentation I don’t have copies of (i.e. last bank account we held jointly) should be in the waiver packet we sent back in February of 2012. Lance said, “Just add to the heap of paper post waiver submission.” Ok, that gives me a starting point!

I opened my copy of the waiver and reviewed the table of contents and scrolled through some of the pages to see what they already had. I started a table of contents for the documents I was going to give Lance and Molly since I am nothing if not obsessively organized when it comes to anything immigration related. At the end of day one, I had printed and cataloged over one hundred pages of supporting documentation that I had on my flash drive. Those hundred pages were almost exclusively tax returns from 2007 through 2012 and I didn’t print copies of W2s or other supporting documentation.

*facepalm*

There are no words to describe how I feel at this moment in time. I’ve been betrayed by my government, and the relationship that has spanned nearly half my life has been called into question. I don’t expect perfection from anyone, but for the love of bacon why can’t we count on a certain level of competence from people that have the power to change lives? In my last post I spoke of mistakes; I acknowledge that we are all wrong from time to time and I consider errors to be a part of the learning process. The problem is, you can only learn from your mistakes if you acknowledge their existence in the first place.

I’m sure by now you’re wondering what blunder was committed that has me so upset. As you might recall I received a case update regarding the I-130 petition that said initial processing, a status which made me quite angry. The USCIS has rescinded the approval of our I-130 petition pending an interview with them. I understand that there was a breakdown in the process and that our petition was approved after a swift kick in the ass from Senator Franken, but this is almost too much. It is the policy of the USCIS to interview every couple that files the I-130 petition while the beneficiary is in removal proceedings, or if the couple has been married less than 2 years at the time of filing. Alberto and I had only been married 3 months when the I-130 was filed, in the midst of his removal proceedings, so you see there is a reason for this development.

Really?

As if I wasn’t already annoyed enough, I received the following email from the USCIS case status system:


Application Type: I130, IMMIGRANT PETITION FOR RELATIVE, FIANCE(E), OR ORPHAN

Your Case Status: Initial Review

We transferred your I130, IMMIGRANT PETITION FOR RELATIVE, FIANCE(E), OR ORPHAN, to your local USCIS Office for further processing. The new office has jurisdiction over your case and will send you a decision as soon as processing is complete or you will be notified if further information or action is needed. If you move, please use our Change of Address online tool to update your case with your new address.

If you have questions or concerns about your application or the case status results listed above, or if you have not received a decision from USCIS within the current processing time listed*, please contact USCIS Customer Service at (800) 375-5283.

*Current processing times can be found on the USCIS website at www.uscis.gov under Check Processing Times.

*** Please do not respond to this e-mail message.

Sincerely,

The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS)

Delay of Game

In effort to give my child summer memories that she will hopefully look back upon fondly, I signed Ashley up for Summer Power and Day Camp through our local YMCA. Summer Power went as expected, she got to go on fieldtrips and made new friends while in a safe environment that was significantly cheaper than Preschool. We did have a few behavioral issues the first few weeks, but I’m hoping that this transition from Preschool to Summer Power will help her make a smooth transition into Kindergarten. I have a meet the teacher and Kindergarten orientation event coming up that I need to be prepared for. I had been watching the advertisements for the last month to see who would offer the best deal on the supplies she is responsible to bring to school on her first day. In the end I still ended up going to Target, and I’m sure that my $20 was well spent. I need to start going through her clothing and weed out the items that are too small and supplement whatever is left with a well-timed shopping trip to Once Upon a Child. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my neighborhood second-hand stores; I only wish they had more selection for women my size.

I swear that if I had the money I would quit my job and make it my mission in life to harass the USCIS into compliance. Our attorney went to an InfoPass appointment earlier this week and was told that our file was in Minnesota for nearly a year before being transferred out to the California Service Center near the end of April. Our file then spent its summer vacation lazing on the beach in the California sun under review where just last week it was referred for a special internal review due to ‘security reasons’. At this time our file is still in California under this special review. If nothing else this appointment served to show that a band of rabid chimpanzees are more organized than the USCIS on a good day.

Monotony

August is really no better than July was for depressing events. Alberto was deported this month last year, his birthday was last week, and I have a baby shower to go to. I’m happy for my cousin, this is her first baby after all, but honestly I thought Ashley would have a little brother or sister on the way by now at the very least. My baby-fever is awful and unfortunately there is no cure that I can partake of when I’m 2000 miles away from my husband. It’s probably not as bad for me as it is for others given that I know I am capable of having children, but still my coworkers are waddling and dammit I want to waddle too!

Ashley’s birthday is just around the corner and I haven’t gotten my plans for her party smoothed out. It never occurred to me just how much of a disadvantage it was to have a birthday in August. She isn’t in Preschool anymore so I don’t have an easy way to contact her friends and the ones I have been able to get ahold of so far are going to be on vacation the weekend that Ashley’s party is set to take place on. I’ve decided that a bowling party would be the best option for this year; the price for the party is per child and includes pizza and pop, 1 hour of bowling, bowling shoes, 1 hour in the party room, and I only have to pay for the kids that show up. Pretty sweet deal if I do say so myself. It makes me sad to know that Ashley will be starting Kindergarten and Alberto is going to miss that milestone too.

The doctor is… IN

The answer to life, the universe, and everything is apparently ‘more drugs’. I finally got in to see my psychiatrist, who will now be known as Dr. Lucy, on Tuesday and she said we should try adding Zoloft to the Wellbutrin XL. The ultimate goal of this is to bring my anxiety back down to a manageable level. Apparently it’s not normal to feel like you’re choking 99% percent of the time. She also said that adding Zoloft might help with my sleeping problems, because not sleeping is a problem, since my body treated Celexa as a depressant. It was helpful in that I was able to live through the pain those first 9 months after Alberto left, but utterly useless because I became a Celexa zombie – a walking, talking, barely functioning nightmare.

Dr. Lucy is also of the opinion that I need something to do, even if that is simply preparing for the worst case scenario. She says that for someone like me, being stuck in limbo with nothing to work towards is a comparable form of torture to the rack. I need work to do, a plan to make, a goal to achieve so I feel like I’m doing something positive. Whatever I do to keep busy has to be something that will occupy my mind whether I’m actively thinking about it or not. It would also be best if my goal were not exclusively linked to the worst possible outcome. Dr. Lucy suggested I make a list of tasks that would need to be complete in order to facilitate an international move, and another list of issues to solve that would make my life easier here in the US. Then I could compare the lists, find something that overlaps, and work towards solving that issue. 

Distressing anniversaries

Last week was particularly hard on me in ways that I hadn't anticipated. My psychiatrist canceled my appointment a few hours before I was supposed to go and see her. I was counting on being able to discuss my feelings and this desperate need to occupy myself with a rational third party. I had been hoping that she might have some special tip to combat the anxiety that was threatening to strangle me on a near daily basis. Maybe it's time I put some serious time into finding either a meditation or yoga class that could work with my schedule.

For the last two weeks Alberto had been sending me a message through Facebook. It wasn't elaborate, just a simple good morning, but it was really nice to know that he was thinking of me while he was 2000 miles away. One day the messages stopped without warning or any apparent reason. For two whole days I heard nothing, my phone calls to Alberto's cell phone didn't ring half the time and my calls to the Madrina weren't going through either. By the time I got through to the Comadre I had envisioned a catastrophe and Alberto in the hospital with no way to communicate with me. The Comadre said that Alberto was still in Mexico City and working in the store, so I asked her to tell the Compadre to have Alberto contact me.

Feats of Cognitive Ability

Sometimes I wish I could shut done my brain for a while and just drift. I annoy myself with my inability to wait and see. I had intended to wait the 45 day period that we agreed on before I started emailing everyone again, only to discover I couldn't even wait two weeks. After a record-breaking 10 days of practicing impatience, I emailed Lance pleading for something to do.


To: Lance

I was wondering if there was an Action Plan in place for whatever it is that may (or may not) happen next in regards to our case. It's not easy for me to take a step back when I have been purposefully making a pest of myself, but I believe if I knew the possible outcomes as you perceive them it would be easier for me to let go for a little while.

I need something occupy myself while I am stuck waiting (im)patiently once again, so if you have a list of documents that I should retrieve or some other feats of amazing cognitive ability that need to be performed, please let me know.

I will be seeing my psychiatrist again week after next, so hopefully she can help me locate my mind if I have lost it by then. :)

Deza

And then the phone rang...

I very rarely get phone calls, which probably has something to do with my hatred of talking on the phone, so whenever my phone rings I typically let it go to voicemail. This also serves the purpose of allowing me to screen my calls so I can avoid whichever collection agency is trying to contact me. Fools – you can’t collect from someone that doesn’t have any money. The only problem with this practice is my cell phone does not like dialing numbers or allowing me to access my call log; it routinely freezes or force-closes whenever I wish to call someone that is not in my contacts. I’m sure you can imagine the sense of panic I feel when the voicemail of a screened call is so important that I need to call the individual back immediately. Today was one of those times.

My phone rang and I almost answered it. It was a Washington D.C. area code, a fact I was aware of due to my previous experience with the CISOMB office. After a few moments of debate, I decided that letting it go to voicemail is the best course of action. If it was the government, I would be forewarned and if it was some other entity I probably didn’t want to talk to them anyway.

And then I got mad. I got terribly MAD.

Today I received an email from the Customer Assistance Office (CAO) which I believe is in response to the inquiry that I submitted to the CIS Ombudsman (CISOMB) office. The email simply stated that the response to my inquiry was attached, but I felt my heart stop when I saw the title of one of the two attachments. Obviously I opened the attachment titled “MENDEZ_DENIAL_NOTICE” first because I needed to know what the denial was in regards to. I was beyond relieved when I saw that it was nothing more than a copy of the original notice we received back in July 2012, so I opened the second attachment to see what response the government sent me that required a copy of the denial notice. The letter read something like this:

Surviving with only Half a Heart

At first I wasn't going to talk about the last few days we were in Mexico or the pure misery of going to the airport the morning we left, but I realize now that I need to talk.  I need to mourn the loss of the physical connection that I so desperately need, and in order to mourn I need to feel once again.  Living for a week completely numb to the pain and horrible sense of loss was necessary to my survival.  I will live my life one day at a time, knowing that I can begin setting money aside with the hope that I can see my love again for Christmas.

Is there a Doctor in the House?!

My worst nightmare came to pass; we had to bring Ashley to a doctor yesterday after passing what was probably the longest day of my life waiting for Alberto to come home.  Sunday night the diarrhea started, Monday morning I bought her Gatorade and started the BRAT diet, however by Tuesday afternoon she was burning with fever and refusing to eat because she felt like she was going to throw up.  Ashley, who is normally a ball of energy, was listless and spent most of the afternoon sleeping.  The Madrina came home first and stopped in to see me as was her habit and said we needed to bring her to the doctor as soon as Alberto got home.  We jumped on him the minute he walked through the door.

Ashley moaned and cried pitifully during the entire ride to the pharmacy that partnered with a doctor much like the Minute Clinics back in Minnesota.  We paid the 25 peso consultation fee and sat down in the uncomfortable plastic chairs to wait for the Doctor.  I could feel the heat radiating off her legs and Alberto recoiled in shock when I set his hand on her knee so he could feel it too.  Just then the Doctor came to the lobby to bring us back to the exam room.  As we sat talking to him about the symptoms and what she ate the last few days, Ashley continued to cry softly while poor Alberto broke into a sweat with each little noise she made.  The doctor focused on what she might have eaten asking very direct questions on whether she mostly ate chicken, pork, or beef and if we’d been anywhere outside of Mexico City.  I ran down a list of food I’d seen her eat, what she’d drank, and where we’d been including the meal we’d had at McDonald’s the other day much to my husband’s irritation.

A trip long overdue

I'm not sure I want to go back home to the frozen north, but only because I'd have to travel with my darling Ashley again. She started whining upon arrival at the local airport shortly after my dad dropped us off. It was kind of cute actually because he really wanted to help me with the luggage despite the fact he's not strong or coordinated enough to be of any real assistance. I told him to stay in the car while I wrestled with my 2 checked bags, 2 carry-on bags, and each of our "personal" items. I was already irritated because I was up until midnight waiting for my sister-in-law Aide to show up with whatever it was I was supposed to bring with me, which in turn became my second checked bag. It didn't help that I had to rearrange everything to bring my largest bag to exactly 50 pounds to avoid a fee for overweight luggage, and my carry-on was an overstuffed duffle bag. I had separated my electronics for easy removal from my carry-on and my toiletries were in my largest checked bag; my goal was to not be "that person" who holds up the line at security.

Our first order of business was discovering the location of our terminal, after which my priority became brunch. We went to this pretentious French bakery/cafe and ordered the only thing on the menu that appealed to me - a breakfast quesadilla. I should have known better, I mean the menu stated that all of the ingredients (including the whole-wheat tortilla) were organic. I was served an nearly tasteless plate of barely edible food, for which I was charges $12. Ashley insisted that I remove the green stuff (wilted and overcooked spinach) and the following conversation occurred:

Answer more confusing than the question

Our request for assistance from the CIS Ombudsman Office has served to confuse me more about immigration and the logic that is not employed by the government in general. I received the first response on Tuesday of this week, in the form of an email requesting a signature to authorize their pursuit of information. The email did not actually have the form that needed to be signed attached so I found in on their website, signed, scanned, and emailed the completed document back within the hour. Thinking that my portion was done, I thought to myself that I would be lucky to hear back before I leave for Mexico and moved on to my mountain of paperwork.

The next day I had another email waiting patiently for me in my inbox. This email explained that it was not my signature that they required, but that of the 'applicant' who will be referred to henceforth as my husband. In a state of extreme agitation, I forwarded the email to our attorney Lance. He responded quickly that they should not need Alberto's signature as we are inquiring on the status of the I-130 petition and not of the I-601 waiver as they had mentioned in their email. With this response in hand I emailed the CIS Ombudsman office that we needed help with the I-130 and not the I-601. Within minutes my phone was ringing. A little bewildered, I answered to discover it was the assistance of the individual that I had just emailed in the CIS Ombudsman office. They were already calling me about the email I sent not 5 minutes ago? She said that her supervisor had told her to call me and explain that it was not the I-130 petition that was 'holding up the process', but rather they were adjudicating of the I-601 waiver. Since they needed to check the status of the waiver, I needed Alberto's signature. I said I would do my very best to obtain his signature in the week they were giving me, and that was the end of the conversation.

CIS Ombudsman Office

I have felt hopeless in the past and turned to other channels for assistance but I am at my wits end.  I asked our attorney if there was any agency with whom I could lodge a complaint against the USCIS.  I know there isn’t much chance that anyone would listen, but I need to make my voice heard if only for a moment. 

Lance responded immediately with the information for the CIS Ombudsman office and said ‘go nuts’ which I suppose was meant to be encouraging.  I am on the verge of displaying my wounded soul to yet another government entity which may or may not be able to do anything to help us.  I feel my optimism is slipping through my fingers like so many grains of sand, taking what little hope I have left with it. 

How much more of this can my battle-scared heart endure before I’m too far gone to ever be happy again?

Ciao

Love is…

I’m turning in my notice tomorrow at FedEx.  I had an entire wall of boxes fall on me yesterday and I could barely get out of bed this morning.  I am done.  I’m sure this is not a sound financial decision on my part, but I survived without the extra income prior to October, and I can continue to do so after my last paycheck is received.  I cannot afford to put myself in situations where serious injury is common whether or not an individual is careful.  The chick that was taken to the hospital a few weeks ago is not overly careful; in fact she scared the crap out of me whenever I helped her unload a trailer.  I am obsessively careful; although I was not seriously injured this time, I could have been.  I talked to HR about the situation and I feel as though what I had to say was important to someone, but it was too little too late.  I was able to confirm that FedEx does not have a required 2 week notice policy, a day of notice is sufficient, but I will tell the big boss that I’m done as of Saturday.

Sick and Tired

I truly believe that a pack of wild monkeys could run USCIS better than the powers that be.  So far this year we were told our file was sent to Consulate in Cuidad Juarez for processing, then that it was received by the National Visa Center which didn’t make any sense at all.  Today may actually take the cake in regards to baffling behavior; we’ve only just learned that the National Visa Center sent our file to the California Service Center to review the approved I-130 petition.  I’ll let you read the emails I received today...

Escape to Paradise

I’ve filed my 2012 tax return so hopefully my refund will find its way to the bank soon although the IRS apparently doesn’t start looking at returns until Wednesday.  I can’t wait to buy my tickets, it’s been so long since I’ve seen my husband it’s almost more than I can bear.  I found something cool this weekend at Target that we can use for Ashley to sleep on in Mexico since we won’t have a bed for her.  It’s called an EZ bed, and it’s basically an air mattress with a fitted sheet that has a comforter attached to it.  It has horrible reviews, but as long as the thing holds air for 2 weeks it’ll have been well worth the $15 bucks I spent.  It’s really kind of cute.