Open Post To CBS

It's almost embarrassing to admit that up until recently, I watched The Bold and The Beautiful religiously.  I followed the story of Rick and Maya with intense interest, hoping that CBS would treat Maya and her transformation with respect while using it as a plot devise.  I feel that CBS did justice to the transgender part of GLBT, but what followed this couple's 'happily for a little while' (after all this is a soap opera) was nothing short of offensive.

I thought we would be dealing with your standard love triangle in regards to Liam, Ivy, Steffy, and Wyatt.  I was indignant to say the least when it was revealed that Ivy wanted Liam to marry her for immigration purposes.  This is illegal, immoral, and a slap in the face to each and every one of us that is stuck in this immigration nightmare.  My husband, best friend, and father of my only child has been waiting for more than half a decade to be granted the opportunity to return to the USA to be with his family.  When you take into consideration my personal experience and exquisite torment that is living without your soul mate, one can see why I find this plot line infinitely more disrespectful than TLC's 90 Day Fiance.

Ciao,

Deza

Fortune 500: Monday's Disappointment

The first week at my dream job with one of the biggest Fortune 500 companies based in the frozen tundra was nothing if not an abject disappointment. The first day alone was ridiculous and warned me that this company would be on equal footing as the non-profit I slaved at for three years when it came to technology. The morning training session was punctuated with a series of technological failures, and each event was more baffling than the last.

Trainer 1 had a laptop that refused to turn on, and once that issue was solved she had to go back to her desk multiple times for print-offs and other materials. We spent the hour between the end of the training and lunch sitting at what would be our desks with no instructions or direction. I couldn't even try signing in to the systems because I had a computer tower with no monitors. I was forced to socialize with a fellow trainee out of sheer mind numbing boredom. I would have been better off keeping to myself and drafting blog posts in the notebook I had brought with me.

Hashtag Srsly Ppl

I am now officially a cranky old lady. I took Ashley to the doctor this morning because her face looked awful; she woke up in the morning with little red dots all over her face and a red patch around her eye. The doctor declared my baby was suffering from a bad eczema flare up with a dash of heat rash just to make things more interesting. By the way, if any divine entities read my blog, have pity on me and stop making my life more ‘interesting’. The Doctor prescribed a special antibiotic cream for the skin around Ashley’s eye, something that wouldn't hurt or cause damage to her eye, and then suggested I put her lotion on at every opportunity.

Since they were celebrating the August birthdays at school today, I made her go to school directly after the appointment. We got lucky and found her teacher right away since they were having a fun day outside with all sorts of fun activities. Ms. Johnson was in the classroom for a cool down after having taken a quick bathroom break. This is only significant for the fact that Ms. Johnson is now 7 months pregnant with twin girls and has all my sympathy. If I had the time, motivation, or even just my own place I would have thrown her a baby shower.

Entreaty for Chores

I need something to do. I must have something to do before I go insane. Our wedding anniversary is coming up fast with Christmas only a few days afterwards. I emailed Molly and Lance begging for some assignments that I could complete to begin the update of our I601 waiver.

Ashley is finally recovering from a bout with strep throat, for which I am eternally grateful. She woke me up a few nights ago with a fever of 105.6° which prompted me to take her to see the doctor first thing in the morning. The fast strep test results were almost instantaneous, but I still had to wait for my mom to come home from her half day at work so I could pick up her antibiotics. I really didn't think the people shopping at Target would appreciate someone bring their sick and contagious child into the store, even if it was to pick up the medicine. I would have done it if there were no other option, but thankfully it has never come to that.

*facepalm*

There are no words to describe how I feel at this moment in time. I’ve been betrayed by my government, and the relationship that has spanned nearly half my life has been called into question. I don’t expect perfection from anyone, but for the love of bacon why can’t we count on a certain level of competence from people that have the power to change lives? In my last post I spoke of mistakes; I acknowledge that we are all wrong from time to time and I consider errors to be a part of the learning process. The problem is, you can only learn from your mistakes if you acknowledge their existence in the first place.

I’m sure by now you’re wondering what blunder was committed that has me so upset. As you might recall I received a case update regarding the I-130 petition that said initial processing, a status which made me quite angry. The USCIS has rescinded the approval of our I-130 petition pending an interview with them. I understand that there was a breakdown in the process and that our petition was approved after a swift kick in the ass from Senator Franken, but this is almost too much. It is the policy of the USCIS to interview every couple that files the I-130 petition while the beneficiary is in removal proceedings, or if the couple has been married less than 2 years at the time of filing. Alberto and I had only been married 3 months when the I-130 was filed, in the midst of his removal proceedings, so you see there is a reason for this development.

Delay of Game

In effort to give my child summer memories that she will hopefully look back upon fondly, I signed Ashley up for Summer Power and Day Camp through our local YMCA. Summer Power went as expected, she got to go on fieldtrips and made new friends while in a safe environment that was significantly cheaper than Preschool. We did have a few behavioral issues the first few weeks, but I’m hoping that this transition from Preschool to Summer Power will help her make a smooth transition into Kindergarten. I have a meet the teacher and Kindergarten orientation event coming up that I need to be prepared for. I had been watching the advertisements for the last month to see who would offer the best deal on the supplies she is responsible to bring to school on her first day. In the end I still ended up going to Target, and I’m sure that my $20 was well spent. I need to start going through her clothing and weed out the items that are too small and supplement whatever is left with a well-timed shopping trip to Once Upon a Child. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my neighborhood second-hand stores; I only wish they had more selection for women my size.

I swear that if I had the money I would quit my job and make it my mission in life to harass the USCIS into compliance. Our attorney went to an InfoPass appointment earlier this week and was told that our file was in Minnesota for nearly a year before being transferred out to the California Service Center near the end of April. Our file then spent its summer vacation lazing on the beach in the California sun under review where just last week it was referred for a special internal review due to ‘security reasons’. At this time our file is still in California under this special review. If nothing else this appointment served to show that a band of rabid chimpanzees are more organized than the USCIS on a good day.

Why ME... continued...

This post is but a continuation of the previous days post as I'm sure you could guess by the title.  If you though the last post was enough to provoke a saint to violence...  just wait until you read this.

 

 

Dear Deza Mendez,

 

We are sorry that you did not receive the USCIS response you desired.  We will keep your inquiry closed, as your email requests, because Senator Al Franken’s staff is currently working to resolve your issue with USCIS.  Please do not hesitate to contact our office in the future.

 

Sincerely,

 

Office of the Citizenship and Immigration Services Ombudsman

 

 

The author of this email cowardly neglected to put their initials on this email, but perhaps this was the point that drove me to write what is the best scathing email I have crafted to date.  I was beyond enraged after reading the first sentence that I saw nothing but red for a minute or three.  Knowing my temper the way I do, I consulted briefly with Lance to ensure that he didn't want us to let the case become closed.  He said that I should not allow them to close it and so I lowered the boom...  This email I am about to post here was sent to every individual and email address I had for the CISOMB office as well as to Diana, Lance, Graciela, and Molly.  This email I am about to post was GLORIOUS, a work or art, a thing of beauty, and crafted by the angriest woman in the world if only for that brief moment  in time.

 

 

Dear Anonymous CIS Employee:

 

I apologize for a delay in my reply but to tell you the truth I was flabbergasted when I read your response.  I am curious to know how you determined that I was requesting to close my inquiry, when in fact I was expressing my bewilderment at the gross misunderstanding I am suffering at the hands of USCIS and now the CIS Ombudsman office. 

 

I need the assistance of the CIS Ombudsman as even the office of Senator Al Franken is receiving conflicting information when USCIS deigns to answer their inquiries.  We have been caught in this no-man’s land for 6 months, and been trapped in immigration proceedings for an additional 5 years on top of that.  Please assist the Senator’s liaison to receive our file with all due haste so that we may continue the process.  I outlined the path we wish to follow, which was confirmed by our attorney Lance, in my first reply within this email thread.  Please ensure that our attorney, Lance, is not left out of any future correspondence.

 

I trust that the CIS Ombudsman office now understands the scope of my request for assistance and the enormous impact they may have on the life of a little girl who misses her daddy terribly.

 

Thank you again for your assistance and do not hesitate to contact me and our attorney Lance for additional information,

 

Deza Mendez

 

 

 

I did not receive any further response from the CISOMB, or Lance on this day.  The story doesn't end here, and damn it felt AWESOME to send that email.

 

Ciao

 

Why ME?!

You know, there are days when I can almost believe that I must have done something horrible in a past life to earn this ridiculous turn of events.  Let me show you the latest string of emails between myself, the CIS Ombudsman office, and our attorney that demonstrate the shabby treatment I receive on a regular basis.

Answer more confusing than the question

Our request for assistance from the CIS Ombudsman Office has served to confuse me more about immigration and the logic that is not employed by the government in general. I received the first response on Tuesday of this week, in the form of an email requesting a signature to authorize their pursuit of information. The email did not actually have the form that needed to be signed attached so I found in on their website, signed, scanned, and emailed the completed document back within the hour. Thinking that my portion was done, I thought to myself that I would be lucky to hear back before I leave for Mexico and moved on to my mountain of paperwork.

The next day I had another email waiting patiently for me in my inbox. This email explained that it was not my signature that they required, but that of the 'applicant' who will be referred to henceforth as my husband. In a state of extreme agitation, I forwarded the email to our attorney Lance. He responded quickly that they should not need Alberto's signature as we are inquiring on the status of the I-130 petition and not of the I-601 waiver as they had mentioned in their email. With this response in hand I emailed the CIS Ombudsman office that we needed help with the I-130 and not the I-601. Within minutes my phone was ringing. A little bewildered, I answered to discover it was the assistance of the individual that I had just emailed in the CIS Ombudsman office. They were already calling me about the email I sent not 5 minutes ago? She said that her supervisor had told her to call me and explain that it was not the I-130 petition that was 'holding up the process', but rather they were adjudicating of the I-601 waiver. Since they needed to check the status of the waiver, I needed Alberto's signature. I said I would do my very best to obtain his signature in the week they were giving me, and that was the end of the conversation.

CIS Ombudsman Office

I have felt hopeless in the past and turned to other channels for assistance but I am at my wits end.  I asked our attorney if there was any agency with whom I could lodge a complaint against the USCIS.  I know there isn’t much chance that anyone would listen, but I need to make my voice heard if only for a moment. 

Lance responded immediately with the information for the CIS Ombudsman office and said ‘go nuts’ which I suppose was meant to be encouraging.  I am on the verge of displaying my wounded soul to yet another government entity which may or may not be able to do anything to help us.  I feel my optimism is slipping through my fingers like so many grains of sand, taking what little hope I have left with it. 

How much more of this can my battle-scared heart endure before I’m too far gone to ever be happy again?

Ciao

Love is…

I’m turning in my notice tomorrow at FedEx.  I had an entire wall of boxes fall on me yesterday and I could barely get out of bed this morning.  I am done.  I’m sure this is not a sound financial decision on my part, but I survived without the extra income prior to October, and I can continue to do so after my last paycheck is received.  I cannot afford to put myself in situations where serious injury is common whether or not an individual is careful.  The chick that was taken to the hospital a few weeks ago is not overly careful; in fact she scared the crap out of me whenever I helped her unload a trailer.  I am obsessively careful; although I was not seriously injured this time, I could have been.  I talked to HR about the situation and I feel as though what I had to say was important to someone, but it was too little too late.  I was able to confirm that FedEx does not have a required 2 week notice policy, a day of notice is sufficient, but I will tell the big boss that I’m done as of Saturday.

Home and Hearth

I’m alive and its Friday, which means the next two days, will be spent mostly at home doing laundry.  @#^%!  I’m sure I’m over-reacting, right?  I mean I do get time to myself, granted I’m never awake to enjoy it, but that counts for something right?  I want what my mom wants, some quiet time where I can sit and read a book should I so desire without interruption.  I’m seriously considering getting a hotel room for me and Ashley to have a mini-vacation.  We could have French toast for breakfast, a peanut butter sandwich for lunch, and popcorn with a movie; if it came with a Jacuzzi tub, a bodice-ripper romance novel, and a complimentary hour of child-care it would be a restorative dream come true.

I need a little escape, but I can’t afford that little bit of relief, especially now.  My mom said something on Tuesday that I have never heard before, “I went to go put gas in my car and I wasn’t sure if my check would bounce.”  My mom may have spoken of financial hardship in the past, but never like this.  She’s spending three times what she normally did for groceries that don’t last half as long as before.  My brother has yet to pay her the rent he’d promised and they aren’t helping much beyond using the WIC coupons that Carol has.  The electricity bill is through the roof just like the other utilities and my brother’s main concern seems to be where he’ll find his next economy-size bottle of Bacardi and does it come with a complimentary can of Kodiak (chewing tobacco).  I just doubled my rent payment because I need to do something, anything, to help out.  I’m also going to start extending my exercise schedule after working at FedEx so I can shower at the YMCA 5 days or more a week.

I’m putting an immediate halt on all unnecessary spending and I’m counting the days until I can file my 2012 tax return.  I won’t get as much back as I have in other years, but I will get something.  I just hope that something is enough for 2 tickets to paradise for me and my favorite girl.

“I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads.  Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.”

Rosalia De Castro

Ciao

Año Nuevo

Dear readers and friends, yet another year has come and gone without my best friend here by my side.  I'm a little older, perhaps a bit more cynical than before and seemingly no closer to the end of our personal immigration nightmare.  While everyone around me prepares to celebrate the coming of a new year with friends and lovers, I just want to sit in my room and watch Ice Age 4 with my darling daughter.  Instead I find myself forced to socialize with my brother, sister-in-law, and their 3 children.  The holidays just don't bring out the best in me these days...