Life Goes On

I know it has been a long time since I have done anything with my blog and I always say that I'm going to go update everything that has happened, but this time I mean it.  This time I am going to deliver on that promise.  Do you know why I plan to deliver this time after all those broken promises?  It's because I am mad as hell and I am not going to hold it in anymore.

We submitted the waiver to the lockbox back in October only to get an RFE in the mail at the beginning of March.  The RFE requests a ridiculous amount of information, most of which should be in the goddamned file already since it probably has it's very own filing drawer by now.  The waiver we submitted in October was 900 pages long for fucksakes.  

Denied the Rainbow

It's so difficult to continue living when what you want most is only just beyond your reach. Naturally I am talking about my afternoon craving for skittles and the demonic vending machine that refused to dispense them after gleefully accepting my dollar. My afternoon without skittles was horrifically long and devoid of sweetness. It is cruel and unusual punishment to be denied the rainbow when you are a sugar fiend like me.

I've just completed what may be the most pant-shittingly terrifying thing I’ve done in recent history. I officially dropped health insurance coverage through the non-profit I work for to take advantage of ACA (aka Obamacare). I will save over $400 a month on premiums and will have a yearend savings of approximately $5000. The only thought I had while I was reviewing the numbers before purchasing my policy was, if only Alberto were home that money could go towards the purchase of a newer car. I dream endlessly of owning a new car; a vehicle that only I have driven daily and the history of which is not the great unknown. I’m tired of my Volkswagen, even though I do have to admit it has held up well despite all the abuse and neglect it receives from me. That fact does not make me hate Hans any less. Hans is my Volkswagen; it’s only fitting that I would give it a German name and a name that is associated with the villain of one of my favorite action films - Die Hard.

Into the Den of Jackels

This post has been a long time coming, but it is still in fresh in my mind as though it were only yesterday.  Knowing myself intimately the way I do, I decided that I should schedule myself a bunch of appointments to help keep myself occupied while I waited impatiently for the interview to come to pass.  The first stop of the day was to get some testing for an allergy study.  They did a blood test and a quick review of my nose and mouth to see if there was anything that was prevent me from qualifying for the study.  I'm hoping I hear back from them since this would potentially add a few extra Benjamins to my wallet at a time when I find myself in need of some extra money.

I arrived at the building where the interview would take place a little earlier than I had hope.  It was closer to 30 minutes before the interview instead of the 15 minutes I had planned on.  This gave me ample time to rifle through the paperwork I brought with me, obtain a paper-cut, put a hole in my nylons, pick at the hangnail next to my new paper-cut, and make a mess out of my hair under the pretense of fixing it.  After seeing the damage I did to my hair in the rear view mirror of my car, I decided it was probably better if I just went in the building to pace about at my leisure.

*facepalm*

There are no words to describe how I feel at this moment in time. I’ve been betrayed by my government, and the relationship that has spanned nearly half my life has been called into question. I don’t expect perfection from anyone, but for the love of bacon why can’t we count on a certain level of competence from people that have the power to change lives? In my last post I spoke of mistakes; I acknowledge that we are all wrong from time to time and I consider errors to be a part of the learning process. The problem is, you can only learn from your mistakes if you acknowledge their existence in the first place.

I’m sure by now you’re wondering what blunder was committed that has me so upset. As you might recall I received a case update regarding the I-130 petition that said initial processing, a status which made me quite angry. The USCIS has rescinded the approval of our I-130 petition pending an interview with them. I understand that there was a breakdown in the process and that our petition was approved after a swift kick in the ass from Senator Franken, but this is almost too much. It is the policy of the USCIS to interview every couple that files the I-130 petition while the beneficiary is in removal proceedings, or if the couple has been married less than 2 years at the time of filing. Alberto and I had only been married 3 months when the I-130 was filed, in the midst of his removal proceedings, so you see there is a reason for this development.

Really?

As if I wasn’t already annoyed enough, I received the following email from the USCIS case status system:


Application Type: I130, IMMIGRANT PETITION FOR RELATIVE, FIANCE(E), OR ORPHAN

Your Case Status: Initial Review

We transferred your I130, IMMIGRANT PETITION FOR RELATIVE, FIANCE(E), OR ORPHAN, to your local USCIS Office for further processing. The new office has jurisdiction over your case and will send you a decision as soon as processing is complete or you will be notified if further information or action is needed. If you move, please use our Change of Address online tool to update your case with your new address.

If you have questions or concerns about your application or the case status results listed above, or if you have not received a decision from USCIS within the current processing time listed*, please contact USCIS Customer Service at (800) 375-5283.

*Current processing times can be found on the USCIS website at www.uscis.gov under Check Processing Times.

*** Please do not respond to this e-mail message.

Sincerely,

The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS)

Delay of Game

In effort to give my child summer memories that she will hopefully look back upon fondly, I signed Ashley up for Summer Power and Day Camp through our local YMCA. Summer Power went as expected, she got to go on fieldtrips and made new friends while in a safe environment that was significantly cheaper than Preschool. We did have a few behavioral issues the first few weeks, but I’m hoping that this transition from Preschool to Summer Power will help her make a smooth transition into Kindergarten. I have a meet the teacher and Kindergarten orientation event coming up that I need to be prepared for. I had been watching the advertisements for the last month to see who would offer the best deal on the supplies she is responsible to bring to school on her first day. In the end I still ended up going to Target, and I’m sure that my $20 was well spent. I need to start going through her clothing and weed out the items that are too small and supplement whatever is left with a well-timed shopping trip to Once Upon a Child. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my neighborhood second-hand stores; I only wish they had more selection for women my size.

I swear that if I had the money I would quit my job and make it my mission in life to harass the USCIS into compliance. Our attorney went to an InfoPass appointment earlier this week and was told that our file was in Minnesota for nearly a year before being transferred out to the California Service Center near the end of April. Our file then spent its summer vacation lazing on the beach in the California sun under review where just last week it was referred for a special internal review due to ‘security reasons’. At this time our file is still in California under this special review. If nothing else this appointment served to show that a band of rabid chimpanzees are more organized than the USCIS on a good day.

The doctor is… IN

The answer to life, the universe, and everything is apparently ‘more drugs’. I finally got in to see my psychiatrist, who will now be known as Dr. Lucy, on Tuesday and she said we should try adding Zoloft to the Wellbutrin XL. The ultimate goal of this is to bring my anxiety back down to a manageable level. Apparently it’s not normal to feel like you’re choking 99% percent of the time. She also said that adding Zoloft might help with my sleeping problems, because not sleeping is a problem, since my body treated Celexa as a depressant. It was helpful in that I was able to live through the pain those first 9 months after Alberto left, but utterly useless because I became a Celexa zombie – a walking, talking, barely functioning nightmare.

Dr. Lucy is also of the opinion that I need something to do, even if that is simply preparing for the worst case scenario. She says that for someone like me, being stuck in limbo with nothing to work towards is a comparable form of torture to the rack. I need work to do, a plan to make, a goal to achieve so I feel like I’m doing something positive. Whatever I do to keep busy has to be something that will occupy my mind whether I’m actively thinking about it or not. It would also be best if my goal were not exclusively linked to the worst possible outcome. Dr. Lucy suggested I make a list of tasks that would need to be complete in order to facilitate an international move, and another list of issues to solve that would make my life easier here in the US. Then I could compare the lists, find something that overlaps, and work towards solving that issue. 

Why ME?!

You know, there are days when I can almost believe that I must have done something horrible in a past life to earn this ridiculous turn of events.  Let me show you the latest string of emails between myself, the CIS Ombudsman office, and our attorney that demonstrate the shabby treatment I receive on a regular basis.

CIS Ombudsman Office

I have felt hopeless in the past and turned to other channels for assistance but I am at my wits end.  I asked our attorney if there was any agency with whom I could lodge a complaint against the USCIS.  I know there isn’t much chance that anyone would listen, but I need to make my voice heard if only for a moment. 

Lance responded immediately with the information for the CIS Ombudsman office and said ‘go nuts’ which I suppose was meant to be encouraging.  I am on the verge of displaying my wounded soul to yet another government entity which may or may not be able to do anything to help us.  I feel my optimism is slipping through my fingers like so many grains of sand, taking what little hope I have left with it. 

How much more of this can my battle-scared heart endure before I’m too far gone to ever be happy again?

Ciao

Sick and Tired

I truly believe that a pack of wild monkeys could run USCIS better than the powers that be.  So far this year we were told our file was sent to Consulate in Cuidad Juarez for processing, then that it was received by the National Visa Center which didn’t make any sense at all.  Today may actually take the cake in regards to baffling behavior; we’ve only just learned that the National Visa Center sent our file to the California Service Center to review the approved I-130 petition.  I’ll let you read the emails I received today...

Open Petition

I know that my story is sad, but our situation is by no means the worst.  Please consider, dear readers, signing this petition to bring attention to those living in exile to keep their family together.  The families are suffering from lack of proper medical care, the children are receiving inadequate education, and the places they live in are often not safe.

I don't want to join the ranks of the hundreds of expatirates that went before me.  I don't want my daughter to suffer in an unstable and unsafe environment.  I don't want to make a choice between buying food and seeing a doctor or my child's education.

Please sign and share this petition:  Bring Home American Families in Exile

We're counting on everyone.  Please help us.  Action for Family Unity


Ciao

Progress stands still

It's been a while dear readers; I haven't had time to write lately.  I plan on trying to get some of my partial posts finished so I can fill everyone in the changes that have taken place.  The largest change so far is the news that my brother John is moving back home in less than 3 weeks due to foreclosure.  At this point we’re all grateful there is enough, albeit barely, room for everyone in my parent’s house.  John and Carol have three children; Kay is 7, Michael is almost 2, and Trevor is 6 months old.  Ashley will be sharing a room with Kay, I am fervently praying that someone will have mercy on me and keep the fights to a minimum (no blood please).  Michael and Trevor were already sharing a room so at least we know there shouldn’t be any real trouble there.  I am being displaced to a much smaller room upstairs and have to downsize my possessions or arrange for off-site storage accordingly.  I had to talk to Alberto about it already because there are a few things I still have of his here in Minnesota that I would have nowhere to store.  The weight bench in particular is a thorny issue since it was a Christmas present, but if it needs to go I guess it needs to go.

Another change is the addition on a second income.  I now work at FedEx Ground between 3 and 7 am Tuesday-Friday.  It's easy enough work, but I wish I could carry mace on my shift.  In a word; creepers.  My co-workers are either good people in need of extra income for whatever reason, or straight creepers.  I think I can handle it through the holidays, which is the point or there simply won't be any presents for Christmas.  I am short about $500 for the waiver filing fees (never again will I buy a @^$#ing Jetta) and if I don't work at FedEx I'll never be able to bring Alberto home.  My carrot on a stick is a pair of roundtrip tickets to Mexico so I can see my husband before my 28th birthday.  I really want to see him again without being on the other side of a glass partition.

Currently our case is stalled while the government retrieves our file from storage. Lance sent me a stern email after I told him I was in contact with Diana in the Senator’s office and she had given me a different status than what the USCIS told him at the infopass.  He said that too many people making inquiries can stall or even stop all progress.  The next day I was told to let Diana keep plugging away with the government because she was getting her information ahead of Lance.  It appears that Lance was suffering from selective hearing when he had the appointment with USCIS; the guy could have said NRC instead of NVC.  Our file is going to be traveling again soon enough, and with all due haste.  We need the visa interview and denial so we can submit the waivers. 

“I got nothing.”

Deza

Ciao

Decision 2012

So much for getting some sleep...  Here's a better rundown of the events of the day:

At 3pm today I received an email from the constituent services representative of Senator Franken’s office, Diana that the USCIS had notified them that a notice was mailed today.  USCIS did not let Diana know what the notice said.  I managed to get myself excited at the potential meaning of the notice.   I forwarded the email to Graciela and she responded that she was on pins and needles waiting to see what it would say.  I was floating on cloud nine thinking about all the good things that notice could say.

At 4:30pm I received the email regarding the new case status and saw that a decision had been made on the I-485 (Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status).  I’ll let you read for yourselves…

DENIED

Today was the day my hope for a quick end to our suffering was smashed to pieces.  The I-485 and I-601 we filed back in February were denied in a particularly heinous fashion.  I understand it is their ‘policy’ to approve or deny people on a whim, but using 1 sentence to address a 739 page waiver packet was only slightly more subtle  than giving us the middle finger.  Our packet was a handcrafted masterpiece, their denial was a 14 page cut and paste hack job.  I mean there were several places where the quotation marks didn’t agree and there was a different in font size throughout the document.  They did not even reference one single piece of the I-601 waiver in their denial; I highly doubt they actually read any of it.  Looking at the table of contents isn’t the same thing as having read the damned thing.

Lance thinks the interviewer has never seen an I-601 waiver before, but even that doesn’t excuse such a poorly made and rationalized decision.  Graciela was horrified by denial in itself, how could they possible justify such an appalling decision?  Gather round friends and neighbors and let me explain something to you: immigration is an arm of the government that is not well trained, has no concrete set of rules, and no one appears to be looking over their shoulder.  They have the power to detain and deport people at will, and have been known to ‘accidently’ deport American Citizens when it suits them.  You know that ‘line’ that our spouses were supposed to get in?  It only exists in the narrow minds of the anti-immigration political candidates.  Have they ever looked at the processing times for the different applications?

If the petitioner isn’t a US Citizen, you will be waiting between 1 to 2 years for the initial visa appointment.

I pretty upset so I think I should just go to bed.

Ciao

Interview with the Devil’s Advocate

Yesterday I emailed Lance and Molly to see where the interview would be.  Molly told me to wait for them on the third floor when I arrive, but to try not to be there too early.  Easy for you to say since I cannot arrive anywhere less than 15 minutes early.  I was hoping that my morning errands would help to keep me grounded until the interview.

I had a fitness consultation in the morning at the local gym; she promised she wouldn’t go easy.  I was not looking forward to being tortured by a personal trainer chick that is ridiculously peppy, half my size, and frigging cute as a button.  I’m sure you’re all seen the type of fitness fanatic I’m talking about here.  I got about halfway through the consultation when an employee from the kids’ corner comes downstairs with my daughter who was visibly upset.  Ashley had an accident because no one took her to the potty.  The chick tells me she was in the kids’ corner all by herself and couldn’t take Ashley to the bathroom.  Ok, so how did you manage to bring her to me?  Well she’s the only kid I had up there to watch.  I was livid.  My almost 4 year old daughter is upset because she pissed her pants, and the accident occurred because you wouldn’t take her to the bathroom?!  I had to shut down the anger and quickly because last time I became upset at the gym, my supervisor heard about it the very next morning.  We took the rest of the consult upstairs to a private training room so that I could finish up since Ashley couldn’t go back to kids’ corner.  The personal trainer (who even has a cute name: Julia) could tell I was upset but chose to say nothing about it.  We finished up and I stalked out of the building with Ashley in tow.

Castle in the Air

Our Thursday night visit was all of three minutes long because two idiots decided to get into a fight on Alberto’s block.  He was talking to Ashley when she handed me the phone.  He said that they were going into lockdown because of a fight, but that I should stick around to see if we could finish our visit.  I told the guard and he told me I should leave.  According to the guard we’d already concluded our visit and there were too many people still waiting.  Understandably this put me in a nasty mood since this was one of those days I really wanted to talk to my husband.  He did call me later that night but I didn’t have any credit on my phone to answer the call.

This morning was simply a continuance of my fool mood.  Work did nothing to dispel the funk I was mired in; in fact for a while it actually made things worse.  I have little patience for people that constantly ignore the rules and just do whatever they want instead.  This is not the way the world works. 

I digress, there I was just bopping along living the dream* when all of a sudden the floor disappeared from beneath my feet.  I feel like I’m going to just jump out of my skin.  After another inquiry by Senator Franken’s office, the interview has been scheduled.  I jumped out of my chair and danced around I was so happy to have a date set! 

Now here I am, sitting at the computer awake as dawn approaches.  I thought I was stressed out before, but I fear the worst is yet to come.

“In times of stress, be bold and valiant.”

-      Horace (roman poet, 65bc – 8bc)

Ciao

At The Crossroads

Oh joy!  Monday has never been my favorite day of the week, but I appreciate it even less when I have to get out of bed earlier than usual.  Ashley is not a pleasant person in the morning much like her magnificent mother, but at least I don’t take a swing at people for waking me up.  We had our 9th immigration hearing this morning which explains the extraordinary mood that descended on me this am.  I suppose there are worse things I could have had to do that would force me out of bed at the butt crack of dawn, but that way of thinking is too rational for me right now.  Anyway, after the obligatory tears and punches were thrown by my sweet daughter I was able to get her ready for school in record time.  There still was a slight argument over whether or not children are able to wear sandals with socks, the answer is a resounding no by the way, and in the end I had to practically sit on Ashley to get her shoes on.  I think the reason she hates shoes so much is they are almost too small for her.  I hope to be able to buy her new shoes on Friday when I get paid again, but whether that is possible or not remains to be seen.  Ashley has been eating everything on her plate and then some lately which is a sure sign of an approaching growth spurt.  I’m not looking forward to that because that means I need to go out and buy her more clothes that I can’t afford.  Thank God it’s garage sale season!

I pulled into the parking lot of the non-descript government building that houses the 8th circle of hell almost feeling optimistic.  It’s strange that after so many hearings I can feel something besides resentment and anger during my journey.  Maybe it is the anticipation at being able to see my best friend face to face after so many days without the privilege that improves my mood, although I truly believe it shouldn’t be a privilege to look my husband in the eye when I’m talking with him.  Once again the miniscule waiting room is packed with the family of the detained so I move into the visiting room to sit on the little stools available in there.  There is only one attorney in the room when I arrive so the chances are good we’ll get in sooner rather than later.  Shortly after Graciela arrives we got kicked out of the visiting room so we went to stand in the hallway, by this time it’s 9 am.  In the hallway we see another attorney from Lance’s office and we learn that Lance himself will also be here shortly for a hearing.  Graciela told me that Lance had a new client he was here to represent today and that he didn’t want to make her give them the bad news.  Apparently the young man had been very busy during his adult life which resulted in 50 or so incidents on his criminal record.

Today, I feel…

Very upset.  It has been a while since I have gotten this upset about something while still at work, but this was bound to happen.  On Tuesday this week Graciela emailed me saying that she had found a Doctor that was willing to travel to the jail to conduct Alberto’s immigration medical exam.  Graciela made sure to warn me that health insurance does not typically cover this exam, and the doctor was estimating charges in the amount of $350.  I guess the arrangement with that particular doctor fell through.

So today, Graciela told me about a different doctor who was able to conduct the physical on Friday afternoon so that we could have this taken care of before the hearing on Monday.  I guess they wanted to have some progress to report in order to secure the continuance.  Anyway, Graciela asked me if Alberto had ever had the chicken pox and if immigration have his passport.  According to mi suegra, Alberto had varicella when he was only 1 but it was a mild case.  According to the records from when he was enrolled in school in Minnesota, he had also received the varicella vaccine.  Actually he received the full battery of vaccinations because his sister didn’t have his records from Mexico and he couldn’t be enrolled in school until they were done.  Graciela told me the exam was estimated to cost $400 and I needed to call the clinic right away to arrange for payment.  I called and I talked to Sally who told me that prepayment was mandatory for all immigration physicals since health insurance hardly ever covers them.  Sally told me they would not go see Alberto for the exam until the prepayment was complete.  This is how I got upset.  How in the hell am I supposed to prepay a $400 medical exam when I don’t even have $40 between all of my bank accounts combined?!  I called my mom and asked the hardest question of them all; can I borrow $400 in order to prepay Alberto’s immigration exam?  The exam will take place Friday afternoon and I was able to tell Alberto all this during our Thursday visit.  Lance tells me I just purchased a continuance, as if that will make me feel better.

Delay of Game

I know I didn’t write anything right after the hearing on Thursday and some people may be wondering what had happened.  It was one hell of a long day let me tell you.  I was up by 5:45 am to shower and get dressed since I was anticipating a fight of epic proportions from Ashley just to get her out of bed.  It didn’t go so bad actually so we go out of the house earlier than I expected.  The hearing was scheduled for 9 am, but Lance had asked me to get there by 8:30 am because the Pro Bono attorney would try to get her hearings done first unless I held the spot.  I was in Bloomington by 7:15 am, so I figured breakfast was in order.  I went to Denny’s and read my Kindle for a while.  I was still at the USCIS/ICE office before 8:30, but at least I wasn’t the only one there.

Lance arrived close to 9 am and the judge walked through the waiting room shortly afterwards.  The Judge grunted, “Which one of you is the pro bono attorney today?”  I watched as all the other attorneys avoided eye contact while looking through their files or checked their phones for emails.  Lance seemed bewildered and asked, “Wasn’t Amy supposed to be the Pro Bono today?”  Apparently Amy had a conflict on her calendar and wasn’t able to keep her obligation to the immigration court and now 25 people were without representation.  Lance glanced at the docket thoughtfully, and then called his wife.  He asked her when she was going to be done across the street because he needed help, and she said she would come as soon as she was finished.  Lance went to the window and asked for the paperwork on the Pro Bono cases to start reviewing who he could get done quickly without assistance since he didn’t speak much Spanish.  He rushed a few people through hearings before our hearing before the Judge.

We were brought into the courtroom the last hearing was held in a month ago, and the proceedings began.  The Judge obviously didn’t know what was going on with Alberto’s case, and the government attorney was as clueless as I’d assumed.  He was a mousey looking man, almost like Drew Carey prior to the weight loss only not as good looking.  The judge wanted clarification so the hearing was taken off the record and Lance began to explain why they couldn’t deport my husband.  He explained how Alberto was brought into the country for criminal proceedings, and how he must be allowed a reasonable amount of time to depart on his dime after the parole is terminated.  Alberto was not afforded this opportunity so the government had violated his rights.  Lance went on to explain that we still do not know what type of parole granted so we are unable to determine if Alberto is eligible for relief or if we should terminate proceedings to return him to Mexico without a final order of deportation.  The government attorney jumped in at that point, stating that we should go ahead with the termination of the proceedings and earned a sigh from Lance.  You see, the government attorney was unable to determine what kind of parole Alberto was granted to enter the US, and he was unable to locate the rulings that outlined Alberto’s rights as an immigrant.  We heard him muttering a steady stream of ‘what the hell’ as he was desperately searching for the documentation.  The solution was another continuance because the Judge refused to spend 30 minutes on a single immigration hearing, with admonition that the attorneys submit their motions prior to the hearing so that the Judge could have a decision ready.  Lance politely agreed to the continuance, which was scheduled for the 23rd of January.

No Brain Required

So here we are yet again, held captive with no other choice but to wait and see.  Have I mentioned before how much I hate the whole ‘wait and see’ philosophy of life?  The attorney representing the government has shown us that they are incapable of thinking logically.  Lance requested a copy of the parole documentation on Alberto in order to prepare our petition for relief which we need to bring to the hearing.  I guess the difference in what type of parole was granted will determine if Alberto can adjust status here, or if he will have to return to Mexico first.  The government attorney told Lance that he would provide the document for him at the hearing Thursday.  Lance countered with the fact that we are expected to identify the type of relief we are seeking, which we cannot prepare for if we don’t know which type of parole Alberto was given.  I wonder what it would be like to work somewhere where the application states, ‘Brain preferred but not required’.  I’ll admit my opinion of government employees is at an all-time low, but if you read the news I’m sure you understand how that opinion was formed.

There is something that I want more than anything in the world right now, that I would give anything to be able to do.  I want to pick up the phone and call my husband just to hear his voice.  It doesn’t matter that we usually don’t have much to talk about or that I visit him 3 times a week now, I want to call him and hear his voice.  I want to talk to him about everything and nothing.  I want him to be here, suffering through this by my side.  I want to wash his clothes and complain about the condition of his socks; I just bought these last week how did you already get holes in them?!  I want to annoy him with my rampant disorganization that comes when I decide to clean everything all at once.  I want to go to Taqueria Los Ocampos and make him order for me because the girl at the counter looks at me funny.  I want a lazy Sunday spent watching an action movie, followed by whatever comedy I picked out.  I want to be awake at 2 in the morning; not because I can’t sleep, but because my husband has been talking for 3 hours and there is no end in sight.  I want everything I took for granted while Alberto was here with me.  I want Ashley to run to her Papí to ask him after I already said no, even though that would probably irritate the ever living crap out of me.  I will take whatever I can get.