Cloud 9 3/4

Today is the first day this month that I feel optimistic.  Even reflecting on the awfulness of ‘shitstorm Tuesday’ doesn’t bring me down from my perch on cloud nine.  It all started with an email… from Diana.

From: Diana

To: Deza

Hi Deza,

I received notice from our liaison today that the file was sent to the National Visa Center this week.  It usually takes 2-3 weeks for the NVC to receive the file and load it into their system.  I will follow up next week with the NVC and keep you posted.

Thanks,

Diana

That three sentence email made up for everything that’s happened in the last 2 months.  I feel hopeful again for the first time in a long time, and I’ll be praying every night that I can finally bring my husband home.  Please please please…

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Ciao

Happy Mother’s Day

Today is that one day every year where we are reminded to thank the woman that didn’t kill us during those snotty teenage years.  Hopefully our mothers know how much we love and appreciate them every single day of the year.

My Mother’s Day weekend started on Friday when I attended the tea party given by Ashley’s Preschool.  I got to meet Ashley’s best friend, a cute little girl named Emma who will be going to Kindergarten next year.  Sophie and I exchanged contact information so maybe we can do a play date or something with the girls this summer.  I would like to invite some kids from Ashley’s Preschool class to her birthday party if we actually have one this year.  I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions that I’m not sure how I would even manage it.  Life was so much easier when I was just an adult, although I have no regrets that I have become a ‘Mamí’.

On Sunday we participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure at Mall of America.  My mom, Ashley, and I have been going to this event since Mother’s Day 2009 when Ashley slept the whole time in the stroller.  It is simply awe-inspiring to see a river of people marching along the course.  There are always people in the crowd that stop to hug their moms at the 1st mile marker while the volunteers with megaphones cheer us on from the sidelines.

I hope all of the Mom’s out there have an absolutely wonderful day! 

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity take the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to us.”

- Washington Irving

Ciao

My kingdom for a shrubbery

I received an email from Molly last Friday stating that the Waiver was on its way to Immigration in a very large FedEx box.  Did she really say it was in a very large FedEx box?  I can only imagine how much they added to the information and documents I provided to warrant the use of a very large FedEx box.  I asked her to email me a copy of the waiver rather than print it, and she responded the PDF was well over 25 MB in size – larger that her outbound email maximum.  I’ll have to make time to get down to their office and have her copy it onto my flash drive then.  I’m sure it will be interesting reading.

I am getting more than a little tired of going to these bogus immigration hearings.  It always seems to me like I am immersed in a Monty Python movie and it’s only a matter of time until someone says ‘ne’. 

I entered the dismal lair of immigration hell, understanding that nothing would take place today.  The minions of evil chortled gleefully when they searched my purse and found a digital camera that had been there since the day before.  The ordered me to return the ‘contraband’ to my vehicle, feeling triumphant in inconveniencing someone.  When I returned from the brief trip to my vehicle, they demanded the reason for my visit again.  I gritted my teeth against my own hostility and replied in an almost pleasant voice that I was here for my husband’s hearing.  Pillsbury dough-boy attempted to illicit a reaction from me by pawing through my purse again.  After my purse was returned, I made a point of inspecting the contents.  I muttered loud enough to make sure one of the guards heard take stock of my belongings and state ‘good it’s all still here’.  I won’t play ball with these people, but I enjoy making sure they know I don’t trust them at all.

One day at a time

I often wonder what I would be like today if my world hadn’t crumbled from beneath my feet.  Would I be a nicer person, maybe more patient and understanding of the people that are around me?  Would I have sympathy for some of the people who currently make me angry when they whine about how they hate their job and no one appreciates them?  I’m sorry if your glorious career at Subway doesn’t satisfy you, but if you don’t get off your ass and do something about it nothing will ever change.  I often wonder if we would’ve been happy, but in reality there is no point in wondering.  I am who I am today because of the pain I survived yesterday.  I had no choice but to survive and to tell myself that everything will be ok.  I have to believe that everything will be ok just so I can get out of bed in the morning.  I need to stand tall and be strong for all of us.

I feel old and cantankerous today.  There is no one thing that set me off, just a string of small nothings that merged into a big something.  Christmas is the season of hope, love, and family whereas I feel like I’m missing all of the above.  Alberto always was the center of my world since about 6 months into our relationship when I realized that I loved him.  This month marks the 4th anniversary of our marriage.  I don’t know how I managed to forget about our anniversary last week but I suspect it has something to do with the fact I have never been able to celebrate with Alberto.  There was never a celebration when we get married; it was a secret only because I was too devastated to share with anyone.  I think people found out I was pregnant before they discovered I was now a Mendez.  Maybe I regret not including my family or my in-laws in the affair, but maybe it was for the best.  Someday we’ll have a party and only God knows where it will take place.

2011 Christmas Letter

Dear Friends and Family:

During this season of family and celebrations, I wanted to send this short letter to let everyone know what is happening in my family.  Ashley, who turned 3 this August, started Preschool in the fall and loves every minute she gets to spend with her teachers.  We enjoy hearing about school and her tales are highly entertaining.  It is fulfilling to know she enjoys school, although she sometimes complains on the weekends that she would rather be there than at home.  She is developing into quite a feisty preschooler.

In regards to our home situation, I have an encouraging update.  In effort to correct past mistakes and secure our future as a family, Alberto has complied with the many requests of immigration in order to gain permission to reside lawfully in the United States.  These requests included leaving the United States of his own volition and returning to Mexico, a country he had not seen in 10 years.

During his stay in Mexico, Alberto had the opportunity to visit the city he was born in and see distant family members he had not seen since he was a young boy.  With the help of one of our Minnesota Senators, we finally saw some progress in our case this past year.  Only last month one of the final barriers holding us back from proceeding with our case was finally removed; giving us the opportunity to begin work on the last and most labor intensive portion of this grueling process.  I understand that immigration policies are confusing because I myself have been very confused at times, and for that reason I wanted to take the time to briefly explain our situation.  We anticipate that 2012 will be the year that all our hopes and dreams come true.

We hope that everything goes well during these last crucial steps and we will soon be united as a family here in the United States.  Thank you for your understanding and support during this difficult period in our lives.

Merry Christmas and God Bless,

The Mendez Family

Weightless

An amazing thing happened to me on Wednesday morning.  It all started my alarm went off as usual at the ghastly hour of 6 o’clock in the morning.  I got up, walked a few steps to my alarm, hit the snooze, and dived back under the covers.  As I settled back into my warm bed, a strange sensation came over me.  My mind was calm, my thoughts were clear, and I felt as light as a feather.  The immense weight on my shoulders that had been my constant companion these last 4 years was gone.  So, this is what it felt like before my world came crashing down around me?  It’s amazing the ability we have to adapt to our surroundings and adjust our expectations accordingly.

Alberto called me last night to talk about what will happen next.  I told him I had sent an email out to Lance to find out when we will be engaging immigration yet again, although I suspect it will not be until after the sentencing in November.  I also let him know that Brian had stated that he didn’t believe that Alberto would be serving the full 240 days.  Most people only serve about 2/3 of their actual sentence, which means Alberto could be out as soon as the day of the sentencing hearing.  If you do the math, 2/3 of the 240 days is only 160 days.  As of today 155 days have passed since his arrest at the border, and if you add the three days he had in custody from the original arrest, Alberto has served a total of 158 days to date, which means he ‘could’ be released on Friday.  However, since he has not been formally sentenced Alberto will remain in custody until that time.  At least that is my understanding of the legalities.

It’s done

There will be no trial, the battle is over.  This afternoon Alberto plead guilty to the lesser charge against him: Riot in the Second Degree.  This is still a felony-level conviction, which means we have to submit a criminal waiver as well as the waiver of inadmissibility.  As Lance is out of the country, the attorney at his office that was helping us today told me that the chances of getting the criminal waiver approved are about 35%.  I tell myself that 35% is better than 0%, but the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach says that we are watching our chances blow away in the cold October wind.  This conviction comes with a sentence of 240 days in the workhouse, credit for time served, and Brian says he may not have to serve the full amount.  We have a sentencing hearing in November, which should be interesting if nothing else.  At the time of that hearing he will have been locked up for about 184 days, with 56 days left to go on his sentence.  God willing we could have him home on parole in time for Christmas this year, our first Christmas in 3 years and his first ever with Ashley.  This nightmare is over, and a new one will come forward to take its place.

I’m feeling ok considering I have been plagued with a series of tension headaches since Friday when the negotiations began.  As long as Alberto is still at the county jail I will be able to see him tonight although I am not bringing Ashley with me.  Every once and a while I need a break from the routine, and then there’s the fact that my sweet little Ashley never allows me to have a conversation with her Papí.  I wonder what the attorney told Alberto during this negotiation that I don’t know about yet.  I hope they didn’t use any underhanded tactics to get Alberto to agree to plead guilty.  Alberto is smart and can handle himself, but the language barrier concerns me at times.  I know there was a court certified interpreter available for the proceedings, but I guess I would have felt better if I was there and witnessed everything. 

Potty-trained Preschooler on the loose

We managed to get Ashley potty-trained just in time for her to start going to Preschool this Wednesday.  She is enjoying it from what I can tell, and the teachers have mostly good things to say about her.  She loves to help clean up, but she has trouble keeping quiet during ‘rest time’.  She hasn’t had any accidents and doesn’t seem to be scrapping with any of the kids in her class.  This may be just the thing to help Ashley move onto the next step communication wise.  It would be nice if she started using full sentences to tell us what she needs or wants.  I just feel bad that I don’t get off early enough in the day to go and pick her up myself.  Mondays will be different though, if we continue going to visit Alberto as we have in the past.  I really don’t know how this is going to work out though, what I do know is that I’m going to have to think extra hard about where I need to go after work every day.

I received a letter in the mail on Friday from Alberto.  I love it when I get mail from Alberto because I know when he wrote that letter he was thinking of me.  I was just thinking the other day that I should get a nice box to put the letters in so I can keep them safe, although to be honest with myself they end up staying in my purse anyhow.  Alberto is miffed at me because I was supposed to call my mother-in-law this weekend to find out who is going with me to visit on Monday and I forgot as usual.  I happen to forget things all the damn time, usually if it involves something I don’t particularly want to do like call my mother-in-law.  I bet at this very moment I am forgetting something that I was supposed to do which will cause Alberto to become exasperated.  I do remember, since he reminded me tonight, that he requested that I find him a prayer book.  I found what I hope he was looking for on Amazon.com, and I’m somewhat irritated that shipping cost more than the book itself.  I think I’ll keep that little nugget to myself, Lord knows I don’t need to give Alberto any reasons to get annoyed with me since he’s proficient at that all by himself.  I’m also supposed to come up with song lyrics for him, but one of the bands he’s listed doesn’t appear to exist.  We’re already discussed this particular song and band, and he’s stubbornly refusing to acknowledge that he has the name misspelled.

Wonderful things come in small packages

Yesterday the mailman brought me something wonderful, a letter from Alberto!  Well actually it was three letters in a single envelope, but I was happy to have gotten something from him at all.  When he called me just as we were sitting down to dinner I got to tell him how happy it made me to get letters from him.  He jokingly asked me if I could read what he wrote, and I informed him I was an experienced interpreter of his letters.  The reason he asked me this question is that Alberto never finished high school and I believe his education more or less ended by the time he was 14.  His handwriting is poor at best and his spelling is pretty bad as well so it can be difficult to determine what he is trying to say.  He attended school here in the US for a couple of months to a year, but due to circumstances his family pulled him from school and sent him to work.  He told me several years ago that the reason he stopped going to school is because his cousins were trying to initiate him into their gang, Los Sureños, and his sisters intervened to save their youngest brother.  Knowing what I do about that particular gang and about his cousins, I am truly grateful that Yesica and Rosa moved to protect Alberto for their bad influence.  It was several months later that I actually met Alberto while working at McDonalds and our story began.  Anyway, in his letters he refers to me as mujer mia and mi amor several times which is probably the most romantic he’s ever been that I can recall.  I will say that it is difficult loving a Mexican man because the majority of them are constipated when it comes to emotions; it takes a laxative (beer) and great pain (the threat of a hangover) for them to confess their love.  Watch a George Lopez special, he does a bit about this and it wouldn’t be that funny if it wasn’t true.

I'm miffed that I can't go and see Alberto on Monday as we usually do because of the Holiday.  At this I have to admit that being in jail has apparently been good for Alberto since he’s found faith again after being without it for so long.  He writes to me about trusting in God and how he is content with just being about to see us after so long.  This change is mostly amazing to me since for years Alberto would only go to church on holy holidays and even then it was grudgingly.  Ok, so I promised myself that I wouldn’t get preachy because I know how much it irritates me when someone tries to force their beliefs or lack thereof down my throat.  I am not saying that my beliefs are better, but they are my beliefs and shall stay that way.  The first amendment to the Constitution was the freedom of religion, press, and expression.  With that said if you happen to pray, please take a moment and pray that justice may be served for us this coming week.

Change may be on the horizon

I just want to say this once:  We should lock the legislators together in a small room with only a bathroom until they have solved Minnesota’s budget to avoid a disastrous governmental shutdown.  Both Ashley and I have health insurance through the state, what in the hell are we going to do if the government shuts down?  What if we get sick or sustain an injury which requires medical care?  I guess we’ll be SOL, but that’s not even the worst of the matter.  What about the people who depend on WIC or EBT to provide enough food for their families?  What about the people who need Section 8 just to afford safe housing?  The legislators have already made sure that they will get a paycheck through a shutdown, but what about the working poor within in the governmental sector?  Who is going to help the government workers who will be out of a job and unable to pay their bills or buy groceries?  I’m not just talking about the secretaries and clerks either.  You have to consider the police, sheriff, correctional officers, parole officers, postal workers, sanitary workers, and county courthouses are all government run entities which will be negatively impacted by a shutdown.  My biggest fear surrounding the budget standoff here in Minnesota is what will happen to our criminal proceedings if the government experiences a shutdown? 

This was brought on by an email I received from Brian just a few hours ago.  It was a forward from the County Attorney’s office which stated that the Discovery was available for pick up on our case.  The Discovery is a process of obtaining and exchanging information between the prosecutor and the defendant both before and during a trial.  In our case, the Discovery will tell us about the strength of the case the prosecutor has built against Alberto and will help us to make a decision as to which path we should take.  After the Discovery has been reviewed is typically when the defendant will attempt a plea agreement to obtain a reduced sentence for the crime they have been accused of.  I am praying with all my might that Alberto will not have to plead guilty for a reduced sentence and conviction just to avoid the dire consequences of a guilty verdict from a trial.  Alberto did not in any way, shape, or form commit a crime let alone what he is being accused of so having to plead guilty to save himself would be demoralizing in the extreme.  We’ve talked about this hundreds of times and he is prepared to do whatever the best option is.  He has turned to God in this hour of need and his renewed faith has brought him peace.  If Alberto is found guilty of a felony, he may never be able to obtain legal status within the United States and in fact be barred from reentry for LIFE.  Está gacho te digo… 

Blood sucking financial institutions

Today is the day I decided to look for a new bank for our joint accounts.  I have absolutely had enough of Wells Fargo’s porquerías.  I am being charged $10 a month for letting the bank hold onto MY money?  On top of that their telephone customer service is appalling, and the bankers at the branches are not always all that much better.  They are a soulless community of leaches that heartlessly attach themselves to the wallets of the less fortunate.  They’re like chupacabras only instead of blood; they suck your wallet dry.  Wells Fargo was not my choice, but it was the only bank I knew of at the time that could accommodate us since Alberto doesn’t have status in the United States.  Lizzy said that she and her husband have accounts through Us Bank, and it appears they are less evil than Wells Fargo so I’m going to look into switching.  If anyone else knows of a bank that does the same, please let me know since I love having options!

I use a Credit Union for my personal accounts that I use to pay the bills and I think I would go crazy without them.  Why choose a Credit Union you ask, well I would be more than happy to tell you!  My number one reason is that Credit Unions are serving you, not some nameless board of directors looking to line their pockets with your hard earned money.  I love having my checking and savings account FREE, and that it only took the price of a share ($5) to join.  I also get free checks, but that may be because I have been a member so long.  I walk into the Credit Union and one of the tellers will greet me by name and ask me about my daughter and husband.  When my mom had her checkbooks stolen several years ago, Leah noticed that the signature did not match and stopped all the checks from being honored.  My mom did not have to pay for any special service, and it did not cost her anything to get the situation squared away even though the culprit was never found.  How cool is that?  Leah has known me since I was 8 or thereabouts, and I miss her dearly since she transferred to another branch.  Melissa is my go-to gal these days and she is always willing to go the extra mile to help me out in my time of need.  If I am ever too far away from my branch when I need to complete a transaction, I simply go to a CU Service Center and they will help me free of charge.  How many people can say that about their bank?

Do the ends justify the means

I firmly believe that the employees at the consulate willfully employ psychological warfare tactics on the people they see every day. If you want a job where you can insult and belittle people on a daily basis, this may be the place for you. On another day I’ll talk about his first appointment at the consulate so that you can make up our own mind about the workers in the consulate. Anyway, yesterday was Alberto’s second appointment with immigration officials at the consulate in Ciudad Juarez. He arrived at 7:30 am for his 8 am appointment and spent the next several hours waiting to be seen. When Alberto was finally seen by an official, he was told that he needed to travel to the Zaragoza Bridge and retrieve a copy of the arrest record which began this fiasco in 2007. Alberto contacted me after leaving the consulate to ask me what he should do. We were in agreement that the likely result of this trip would be his arrest in relation to the warrant for his arrest. He asked me to contact both attorneys to see what each said about this situation and what advice they would give.

I contacted our immigration attorney first and was dismayed to discover their phone system was set to the answering machine in the middle of the business day. After calling several times, the receptionist returned from her lunch break only to tell me the attorney was currently out to lunch. I made her promise to have the attorney call me the minute he returned to his office because I needed to talk to him as soon as possible. I received the call approximately 30 minutes later and spoke with Lance. Lance said that based on our situation and the problems we have been experiencing with immigration; we would never get the opportunity to fix Alberto’s legal status without resolution of the warrant and criminal case. Lance was also of the opinion that the idea was to have Alberto arrested and extradited to Minnesota to stand trial. Lance also stated that there was the potential, given a favorable conclusion of the criminal case that Alberto would be allowed to adjust status from within the United States. Since Lance was not handling our criminal case as that is not his sphere of expertise, he said that he could not advise us as to what Alberto should do. My next contact was to speak with Brian, our criminal defense attorney. I last spoke to Brian a few months ago about our case and what our chances were if we went to trial. Brian is still of the opinion that they don’t have a case against Alberto and we have a good chance of getting this taken care of without having to take a plea bargain. To make this 100% clear to everyone, Alberto did not do what they’re accusing him of. However, if for some reason a miscarriage of justice were to occur and he were to be found guilty of a felony, he would NEVER be allowed reentry into the United States. Hence the option of plea bargain is on the table if it looks like we could lose, with the idea to reduce the sentence and severity of the crime to misdemeanor level. Because family come first, as it always should.