In the eye of the storm comes a moment of calm

I would say the official start of the day was at 1 am when Ashley had a coughing fit and started crying.  I look at the bright side of the situation and realize this gave me more cuddle time than I am usually allowed.  She becomes more independent every day.  Just yesterday I tried to give her a hug and she said, “Awwwww Mamí...” in a voice reminiscent of that whiney teenager tone.  I refuse to let her grow up that fast!  She was back in bed within a half an hour and which point I collapsed in my own.  I remember nothing and apparently did not move for the rest of the night.  At 6:45 am, Ashley came downstairs and climbed into bed with me, which I may not have noticed if she didn’t fall on me trying to get to her ‘spot’.  Another round of cartoons and a shower, I began to feel almost human.  This is the point where I usually tell whomever I happen to be talking to that I am not now nor will I ever be a ‘morning person’.  As a matter of fact I had to move my super loud alarm clock to the other side of the room just to facilitate getting my arse out of bed.  I also never shut my curtains so the sun streams in on my face.  Then there is the four different alarms programmed on my cell phone and a backup alarm clock in the opposite corner of my primary alarm.  There are still days that I barely get out the house on time even with all that precaution.

By that time I was reluctantly awake and beginning to feel nervous.  The butterflies in the pit of my stomach quashed my appetite down to nothing.  Since I was running late anyway, I didn’t pack a lunch and figured I would just grab something frozen at the gas station.  This is usually a good backup plan, however, I didn’t actually remember to go and buy something.  I had a Pop Tart for breakfast since there was a box of them in my desk drawer and a piece of cinnamon coffee cake that some dear soul in our office made to share.  I felt sick to my stomach all morning and afternoon.  I finally decided to get Jimmy Johns for lunch since their subs are too bland to offend the stomach, and ended up eating only half of my sandwich.  I hope the other half is still good so I can eat it for lunch tomorrow.  As 4 o’clock approached hobbling on crutches my nervousness progressed to nausea and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.  For the love of frijoles this is my husband I was nervous about seeing!  It must be because so much time has passed since we last spoke face to face.

Social hour at the jail was a whole different experience for me.  The two ladies in front of me were discussing Section 8 housing and the fact that she was finally number 21 on the waiting list when 4 months ago she was at 76.  The lady behind me was just a sight for the eyes with her bright pink pixie cut, enormous floral chest tattoo, and plethora of piercings.  How many piercings does it take to make a plethora you ask?  Well I counted 1 nostril stud, a tragus piercing, a labret piercing, a conch piercing, and a total of 12 regular piercings in each ear which included the triple set of graduated gauged rings on her earlobe.  The majority of the women were pregnant, had small children, or were beyond their child bearing years and there were very few men.  Ashley got into a poking match with the lady concerned with her spot on the section 8 list which probably made them want to help me out with the protocol since I had no clue what to expect.  At exactly 6 pm, the guard came forward and asked the first 10 people to line up in front of the metal detector.  I was surprised how unprepared some people were, having large amounts of lose change or belt buckles to contend with.  Based on my experiences at airports, I had emptied my pockets before coming in the building and anything with metal that I had with me was already stowed in the bag I was carrying.  Ashley walked through first and then I did, we grabbed our bag and moved on to the desk where we all would ‘register’ to visit our offenders be they innocent or not so much.  Ashley and I got our papers and a token to put the bag in a locker.  Sadly, Ashley’s puppy was not allowed to accompany us upstairs.  Arriving at the proper floor and getting buzzed in was a cinch.  Then all we had to do was wait for Alberto to sit on the other side of our personal looking glass.  It was about this time I realized I that I was no longer nervous and nauseous.  Then Alberto was there, knocking gently on the glass to get our attention.  How I missed seeing his smile during all those months apart.  How I wished I could touch his hand, his arm and feel that connection if only for a moment.

It was for that one shining moment, that all was right in my little world.  Then I touched the glass barrier that came between us and I felt all the more determined to see that barrier removed once and for all.  Today is the day Ashley and I finally got in to see Alberto after more than a year apart.  You see I was so determined to get in to see him that I was at the jail a full hour early to the social hour and I still ended up being the third person in line.  Ashley was very well behaved considering how early we were, but that was a holdover from waking up on the wrong side of the bed from her nap.  We spent a few minutes in the visitor’s booth waiting for Alberto during which Ashley chattered into the phone even though no one was there.  Of course as soon as her Papí sat down across from us she wanted nothing to do with the phone.  At one point she even hid under the table for a few minutes.  Perhaps our beautiful daughter swayed the guard, but we were allowed 25 minutes instead of the customary 15 minutes.  My second bonus of the day was as I was leaving the parking ramp where my total was $4 for over 2 hours!  Just think, this is the ramp next to the ramp I was parked in on Thursday and I paid $16 more for less time. Winning!

I got home to find that the police report from Alberto’s arrest had arrived in the mail today so I scanned the pages and emailed them to both attorneys.  Let’s get this show on the road people!  Time is a wasting and Ashley will be 3 in a few months.  What I really want is to have Alberto be there for her birthday party and maybe get her baptized at the same time.  Then I would like a weekend getaway for two at a hotel with a Jacuzzi in the room.  How about some bowling too while we’re at it since I could never convince Alberto to go before.  So many places I want to go and things I want to do that were just too much work with just Ashley and me.

“Neverlet go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together.What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back andlaugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get throughall of that?”

Ciao