Friday, April 27, 2012

‘Get Out of Relationship Free’ Card

I know my mother-in-law doesn’t necessarily talk to me about the family issues, but I really don’t like being taken by surprise by problems.  My husband asked me if I knew why Dacia left her boyfriend and said that he was told there had been abuse within the relationship.  Now I know Dacia’s father Ignacio has been abusive to my sister-in-law and Dacia has pleaded with her mother to leave him before, so I was surprised to hear this.  I promised I would find out what I could and tell him what I’d learned at our next visit.  I talked to my mother-in-law and she told me that Roberto had hit Dacia several times and even cut her once with a razor when they had been fighting.  I was shocked, but the only other thing Gisela could tell me is that Dacia’s father told her to come to Mexico with Junior.

As luck would have it, Dacia decided to visit her uncle today so I had the opportunity to speak with her alone.  I didn’t ask her about the situation on our way to the jail, but instead used what she said to Alberto during the visit as the foundation for my own questions.  She asked me about traveling to Mexico and what Junior would need to fly, or to cross the border in a car.  She wouldn’t be able to fly to Mexico with Junior if he didn’t have a passport, but they could cross the border in a vehicle as long as she had a certified copy of his birth certificate.  I told her it was in her best interest to apply for Junior’s passport and postpone traveling until she had it, but that apparently is not an option.  It’s something she needs to take care of as soon as possible or Junior will have trouble getting one in the future if the USCIS decides to claim he stole someone else’s identity.  I asked her why she was leaving all of a sudden and she told me she did something stupid; she went out with another guy.  I asked if the relationship could be fixed or was Roberto abusive.  She told me Roberto wants her to come back to him, but she doesn’t want to be with him anymore because he’s too jealous.  She stated that he wasn’t abusive to her or their son; she just didn’t want to deal with his jealousies anymore.  She sheepishly told me that she wove a story for her Abuelita about abuse because she was afraid that Gisela wouldn’t let her come home if she knew the truth.  I said something about the fact that Roberto is a Mexican/Chicano male, implying that she should’ve known he would be somewhat jealous.  Alberto was the same way when he was Roberto’s age, that’s why I quit working at McDonalds – we were fighting all the time over stupid things.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Lisa’s Monthly Survey (via Emily)

A lighthearted survey is just what today needed!  I got this one from Emily over at The Real Housewife of Cuidad Juarez, who in turn got in from Lisa at From One Country To Another.  I remember spending many study hall days taking online surveys, so this is a nice little trip into the past.  Thanks Ladies!

1. Name three things you have a fear of:

Spiders, Tuesdays, and missing my chance to have another child

2. Cheese or Fruit Pie?


Long or short hair?

When it’s long I want it short, when it’s short I want it to grow faster...

Small town or big city?

Small town – Suburb of a big city would be best

Blue cheese or Ranch?

Neither!  I can’t stand salad dressing.

White or Wheat Bread?


3. Have you ever won a contest?

The only time I’ve ever won anything was when I was pregnant with Ashley.  Alberto was playing baraja with his family when he decided he needed to leave the table for a while and gave me his hand.  I won $200 that night, which is why we all say “Ashley
nació con una torta bajo el brazo.”

4. Would you rather camp out or stay in a Hilton?

I’m more of a hotel kind of girl.  I think it all started the time I burned two deer ticks off my leg…  That was enough of that for me!

5. Have you ever had surgery?

I’ve had my appendix out, which I think hurt more than childbirth.  Ashley was born after two hours of hard labor while I was loopy on nubain, threatening my husband, if my mother-in-law is correct. 

6. Are you a planner or go with the flow kind of person?

I try to be a planner but my conversion to mexicanism has thwarted all but the most basic of planning abilities.  Sometimes that is a good thing since it made me learn to go with the flow, but then I get that phone call about whatever appointment I missed.  They say next time they’ll have to add a charge to me bill for excessive missed appointments.

7. If you could have anything to eat right now what would it be?

Thanks for reminding me how much I’ve been craving a gordita de tinga de pollo con frijoles y arroz.  I wish
Taquería Los Ocampo delivered…

8. What is your favorite type of flower?

I like the simple flowers like daisies and daffodils.  When we finally have a place to call our own I want to plant a cutting from my mother’s lilacs, which came from her mother’s lilacs, under our bedroom window.

9. Do you remember your dreams? Do you have any?

I have weird dreams when I can remember them.  There was the one where I dreamt Alberto left me for a little Asian girl who was really the princess of France and they laughed at me when I went searching for them with our baby.  I woke up from that dream and felt someone in the bed next to me.  It was the attorney I was working with at the time; he was a short and unattractive jackass.  I screamed and woke myself up for real.

The ones I don’t remember are when I wake up smelling Alberto’s cologne.  Those are the nights I cry.

10. What do you miss most about your childhood?

I miss the heyday of summer.  I miss the romantic moonlit walks in the soft and fragrant nights, and the lazy days before there were jobs and responsibilities.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Weasel War Dance

Good Lord did I really just attend the eighth Immigration Hearing?  I know we’re coming to the end of this nightmare, but sometimes it’s hard for me to comprehend what we’re going through and what has been lost.  Alberto has been detained by USICE for 149 days as of today, but he’s been in jail for a grand total of 331 days.  That means in just over a month he will have been in jail for a year.  Ashley has had her father nearby for almost an entire year.  Maybe in a way this is yet another blessing in disguise since it has given Ashley a chance to get to know her father.  God willing Alberto will be able to come home before too much longer.

I arrived before Graciela as usual and waited for her in the ‘room of many torments’ found within the bowels of USICE hell.  This was yet another visit where I passed through security without much commentary on behalf of the guards, although I noticed the return of their self-important smirks.  I swear they only asked me for my appointment letter because there was someone who came in the door right behind me.  I stated that I was here, yet again, for my husband’s immigration hearing and passed through the metal detector without issue.  I mumbled on the way out that I would be seeing them next month.  I attribute my defeatist attitude to sleep deprivation; luckily these moods rarely last for very long.  Graciela was the last attorney to arrive, so I anticipated that we would not get in until sometime after 10.  This is why I always bring a book.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Today, I feel…

Very upset.  It has been a while since I have gotten this upset about something while still at work, but this was bound to happen.  On Tuesday this week Graciela emailed me saying that she had found a Doctor that was willing to travel to the jail to conduct Alberto’s immigration medical exam.  Graciela made sure to warn me that health insurance does not typically cover this exam, and the doctor was estimating charges in the amount of $350.  I guess the arrangement with that particular doctor fell through.

So today, Graciela told me about a different doctor who was able to conduct the physical on Friday afternoon so that we could have this taken care of before the hearing on Monday.  I guess they wanted to have some progress to report in order to secure the continuance.  Anyway, Graciela asked me if Alberto had ever had the chicken pox and if immigration have his passport.  According to mi suegra, Alberto had varicella when he was only 1 but it was a mild case.  According to the records from when he was enrolled in school in Minnesota, he had also received the varicella vaccine.  Actually he received the full battery of vaccinations because his sister didn’t have his records from Mexico and he couldn’t be enrolled in school until they were done.  Graciela told me the exam was estimated to cost $400 and I needed to call the clinic right away to arrange for payment.  I called and I talked to Sally who told me that prepayment was mandatory for all immigration physicals since health insurance hardly ever covers them.  Sally told me they would not go see Alberto for the exam until the prepayment was complete.  This is how I got upset.  How in the hell am I supposed to prepay a $400 medical exam when I don’t even have $40 between all of my bank accounts combined?!  I called my mom and asked the hardest question of them all; can I borrow $400 in order to prepay Alberto’s immigration exam?  The exam will take place Friday afternoon and I was able to tell Alberto all this during our Thursday visit.  Lance tells me I just purchased a continuance, as if that will make me feel better.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

April Showers…

A weight loss update is a good beginning for this particular post.  I may not be losing a lot of weight so far, but the inches are coming off so I must be doing something right!  My latest data is from this morning; so far I’ve lost .9 lbs and 9.75 inches in the three weeks I’ve been on the New Leaf program.  I feel better since I’ve been exercising and using the calorie counter on MFP helps me think before I eat something.  I still have to ask myself if I’m really hungry or if I’m just bored, but I think I’m getting better at avoiding the mindless munching.  I’ve missed two weight lifting sessions so far, one because I fell asleep and the other because I was too sore to lift any weights.  I will not allow myself to skip any other weight lifting sessions.

Ashley had her first dental appointment on Thursday and it went much better than I was afraid of.  I got to fill out the small mountain of paperwork, while she got to watch ‘Dudley dinosaur goes to the dentist’ on the TV.  I should mention that this is a pediatric dental office with every amenity possible to help keep children from freaking out.  We had been to this office before when Ashley had a tooth that was changing color as the result of a fall.  Since she was very unhappy after that past appointment because the dentist pushed and pulled on the tooth in question to make sure it wasn’t loose, I was worried how this appointment was going to go.  They painted her teeth pink to show us how she needs to be brushing, and she was very good while the hygienist was polishing her teeth.  She got up multiple times while we were waiting for the dentist because she was bored and she allowed him to pick her teeth without a fuss.  She got 2 stickers, a tiny plastic kitty, and super ball for being a good girl.   She was so happy with her new treasures.