At first I wasn't going to talk about the last few days we were in Mexico or the pure misery of going to the airport the morning we left, but I realize now that I need to talk. I need to mourn the loss of the physical connection that I so desperately need, and in order to mourn I need to feel once again. Living for a week completely numb to the pain and horrible sense of loss was necessary to my survival. I will live my life one day at a time, knowing that I can begin setting money aside with the hope that I can see my love again for Christmas.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
My worst nightmare came to pass; we had to bring Ashley to a doctor yesterday after passing what was probably the longest day of my life waiting for Alberto to come home. Sunday night the diarrhea started, Monday morning I bought her Gatorade and started the BRAT diet, however by Tuesday afternoon she was burning with fever and refusing to eat because she felt like she was going to throw up. Ashley, who is normally a ball of energy, was listless and spent most of the afternoon sleeping. The Madrina came home first and stopped in to see me as was her habit and said we needed to bring her to the doctor as soon as Alberto got home. We jumped on him the minute he walked through the door.
Ashley moaned and cried pitifully during the entire ride to the pharmacy that partnered with a doctor much like the Minute Clinics back in Minnesota. We paid the 25 peso consultation fee and sat down in the uncomfortable plastic chairs to wait for the Doctor. I could feel the heat radiating off her legs and Alberto recoiled in shock when I set his hand on her knee so he could feel it too. Just then the Doctor came to the lobby to bring us back to the exam room. As we sat talking to him about the symptoms and what she ate the last few days, Ashley continued to cry softly while poor Alberto broke into a sweat with each little noise she made. The doctor focused on what she might have eaten asking very direct questions on whether she mostly ate chicken, pork, or beef and if we’d been anywhere outside of Mexico City. I ran down a list of food I’d seen her eat, what she’d drank, and where we’d been including the meal we’d had at McDonald’s the other day much to my husband’s irritation.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Our first weekend in Mexico was nothing it not eventful. Alberto made sure to warn me that we would be getting up very early in the morning because we stayed the night in Mexico City instead of driving straight to his mother's house from the airport as he'd planned. When the alarm went off at 5 am I awoke to find myself more or less pinned to the bed by my snoring yet adorable husband. I can't remember the last time I slept in a twin-sized bed but thankfully having less space makes it harder to be a bed hog. I remember many nights where I would wake up clinging to the edge of our full size bed to keep from falling off, and having to wrench the blankets away from Alberto so I wouldn't become an ice cube by morning.
I kissed my husband lightly on the cheek and snuggled closer to prolong the simple pleasure of waking up with the man I love. He stretched as he woke and I saw the moment when he realized that I was really there lying in bed with him. A beautiful smile of contentment spread across his face and mirrored my own smile. We looked over at Ashley who was still out cold on the couch and I had to chuckle at the look on Alberto face. The best way to describe how Ashley sleeps is to think of the child pose in yoga, which is very comfortable and all that but I don't think I could sleep on my face all night. We decided to leave Ashley in her pajamas and let her sleep during the trip. It was time to get up and dressed so we could load my suitcases into the van.