Pity Party at Table 1

Ever look at one of those posters with all the cartoon facial expressions and just want to set it on fire because there is no little cartoon expression for how you're feeling today?  No?  Must just be me then.

So, as you might be able to imagine, today was a bad day although I'm not quite sure what set me off.  Maybe it was the association-wide quarterly meeting that I had to suffer through.  Who doesn’t love sitting in packed room on ridiculously uncomfortable chairs for three hours? Our executive management team, as known as the three amigos (CEO, COO, and CXO), were almost bouncing off the walls like a gaggle of pre-teen girls at a sleepover.  The hyperactive CXO, who had only been with the company for about 2 months at this point, was charged with playing the clueless newbie in the little skit they devised; a part which consisted of interrupting the COO, demanding explanations for concepts like ‘aggressive friendliness’ and then almost knocking the man off the little stage in his exuberance.  The PowerPoint presentation was uninspired and the little snippets of popular songs they blared each time someone different would take the stage were rather short and mostly annoying. When the meeting finally ended, yours truly had a pounding headache from the flashing lights and loud music/sound effects. It reminded me of one of those rallies they hold for people in sales to get them pumped up to make more money for the corporation.

When I was finally allowed to escape I was so relieved.  Well that was up until my boss came up to tell me a story.  Usually I love a good story and I have fun telling a good story as well, but this was not one of those stories.  She wanted to tell me about her daughter; how she packed up and moved for a job that was giving her adequate pay and excellent benefits only to find she is now horribly bored at work.  That's it, that was the whole damn story.  She then proceeded to tell me that this is an illustration of how the grass is not always greener on the other side.  Wait... what?  You dare state that your daughter's boredom at work is comparable to the horror that is our situation?  I am stuck here in no-man's land; two thousand miles away from my best friend, raising a daughter who has no goddamn clue what a daddy is or what purpose they serve, and going through the motions in a job that's fulfilling but not financially viable for a single mother who has really no chance of advancement since she lacks a college degree.  

This was almost as bad when my boss's boss told me that working in a non-profit is a choice and I'm LUCKY because her husband hasn't gotten a raise in the last eight years he's worked for the county.  Ok fine, I'm pretty damn lucky to have a job, I'll give you that.  It was the fact that this fact was brought to my attention before mere days before she left for her 2 week vacation in Hawaii with her family that pissed me the fuck off.  She's in her early fifties and leads a comfortable life.  Her position in management at this non-profit is secure since she does her job well and no one else really wants it, not to mention that her compensation is on-par with industry standards instead of well below like mine is.  She also get her health benefits through her husband and so pay less than a quarter of what I pay for benefits that are better than I receive.

I guess what I want to get across is we, the ones who have been torn in half by the broken immigration system, don't need stories with morals about why we're so goddamned lucky.  I'm not by any means a nice person when presented with these comparisons, however, I'm smart enough to know better than to say anything that would put what little financial stability I have in jeopardy.  That being said, if you're not my boss, you have nothing to save you from my fury.

I keep thinking how lucky I am to have my support group girls to keep me sane.  Without them I'm not sure I could get through days like today.  Thank you ladies from the bottom of my zebra-print heart.

"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation.  It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."

Paulo Coelho

Ciao

I have been charged to add something to my post:

"The isn't green on either side bitches."
Maia

Amen, Maia... amen...