tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85483346532850812822024-03-12T20:47:39.851-06:0080 Proof LemonadeWhen life gives you lemons... get out the salt and Tequila.Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.comBlogger140125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-935338094629230912016-02-27T18:09:00.001-06:002016-04-03T14:14:07.189-05:00The Absentee Blogger<p dir="ltr">I am beyond embarrassed about how long I have gone without updating my blog.  So here's a minor update while I get back into my writing groove:</p>
<p dir="ltr">Our I-601 & I-212  waiver package was denied.  Ultimately the reason behind the denial is all about Alberto's criminal conviction and whether it should be considered a CIMT.  We had to go through a RFE before we reached <u>t</u>he denial stage but who the hell knows anything anymore.  They probably sent us an RFE hoping; (1) that I would still have Alberto's proof of income, (2) we would get disheartened and give up.  I had a epic fucking news flash for the bastards...  I have pay stubs, W2's, and 1099's for my darling husband going all the way back to 2001.  I had everything they were asking for 100 times over!  After 10 minutes of paging through my files I decided to invest in a decent quality scanner just to organize the documents I was locating and reduce the paper that I would bring over to Lance's office.  Instead I filled a 4GB flash drive and was told that was more than enough for them to work with.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The denial was not the end of our journey, oh not by a long shot.  We've appealed the denial to the AOA, and we are nearing the 6 month mark.  The AOA is still currently reporting the timeline of these appeals as 6 months or less so I have hope that I will know something before I turn 31 this year.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Ashley celebrated her 7th birthday with her first concussion and several hour stay at the Children's Hospital.  The total bill for the day the scooter skipped a beat and the follow up appointment came to a little under $3000.  Ashley likes to talk about how her mommy leaped over a queen-sized bed like an Olympic Hurdler, even though she didn't witness the event.</p>
Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-33441262191263126272015-06-19T13:01:00.000-05:002015-06-29T13:09:37.994-05:00Open Post To CBSIt's almost embarrassing to admit that up until recently, I watched <a href="http://www.cbs.com/shows/the_bold_and_the_beautiful/" target="_blank">The Bold and The Beautiful </a>religiously. I followed the story of Rick and Maya with intense interest, hoping that CBS would treat Maya and her transformation with respect while using it as a plot devise. I feel that CBS did justice to the transgender part of <a href="http://www.glbthistory.org/" target="_blank">GLBT</a>, but what followed this couple's 'happily for a little while' (after all this is a soap opera) was nothing short of offensive. <br />
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I thought we would be dealing with your standard love triangle in regards to Liam, Ivy, Steffy, and Wyatt. I was indignant to say the least when it was revealed that Ivy wanted Liam to marry her for immigration purposes. This is illegal, immoral, and a slap in the face to each and every one of us that is stuck in this immigration nightmare. My husband, best friend, and father of my only child has been waiting for more than half a decade to be granted the opportunity to return to the USA to be with his family. When you take into consideration my personal experience and exquisite torment that is living without your soul mate, one can see why I find this plot line infinitely more disrespectful than TLC's <a href="http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/90-day-fiance/" target="_blank">90 Day Fiance</a>.<br />
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Ciao,<br />
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DezaDeza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-74174405420342859412015-04-29T21:54:00.000-05:002015-04-29T21:54:31.496-05:00Life Goes OnI know it has been a long time since I have done anything with my blog and I always say that I'm going to go update everything that has happened, but this time I mean it. This time I am going to deliver on that promise. Do you know why I plan to deliver this time after all those broken promises? It's because I am mad as hell and I am not going to hold it in anymore.<br>
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We submitted the waiver to the lockbox back in October only to get an RFE in the mail at the beginning of March. The RFE requests a ridiculous amount of information, most of which should be in the goddamned file already since it probably has it's very own filing drawer by now. The waiver we submitted in October was 900 pages long for fucksakes. </div>
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</div><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2015/04/life-goes-on.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-26739538541068482842014-08-12T23:01:00.000-05:002015-06-28T20:01:15.075-05:00Fortune 500: Monday's DisappointmentThe first week at my dream job with one of the biggest Fortune 500 companies based in the frozen tundra was nothing if not an abject disappointment. The first day alone was ridiculous and warned me that this company would be on equal footing as the non-profit I slaved at for three years when it came to technology. The morning training session was punctuated with a series of technological failures, and each event was more baffling than the last.<br><br>Trainer 1 had a laptop that refused to turn on, and once that issue was solved she had to go back to her desk multiple times for print-offs and other materials. We spent the hour between the end of the training and lunch sitting at what would be our desks with no instructions or direction. I couldn't even try signing in to the systems because I had a computer tower with no monitors. I was forced to socialize with a fellow trainee out of sheer mind numbing boredom. I would have been better off keeping to myself and drafting blog posts in the notebook I had brought with me. <br><br><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2014/08/fortune-500-mondays-disappointment.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-21806468146352434132014-08-07T12:53:00.000-05:002015-04-29T21:53:11.274-05:00Fortune 500 CompanyAfter a few months adrift I've got a contract position starting next week that has the potential to lead to bigger things. It's with a Fortune 500 company that headquarters here in the frozen north and it's along the lines of my educational aspirations. As of Monday I will be a Contract Accounts Payable peon for the next 9 months. I'm not sure what to expect, but I certainly hope they have decent technology since it is such a huge company. I refuse to weave my hopes and dreams around the possibility of a future with this conveniently located company that offers phenomenal benefits. The future is now, and the only option it to keep moving forward.<br>
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I really needed some good new this week with Alberto's birthday coming up and Ashley's birthday following soon afterwards. My love is going to be 28 this year, and our daughter will be 6 years old. I have been feeling increasingly numb these past few weeks, which I have been attributing to the birthdays this month and the fact that our 7th wedding anniversary is in December. I try to maintain my realistic, if not optimistic, outlook on life but it is becoming increasingly difficult as I get older. I wonder when I will find my first gray hair.<br>
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</div><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2014/08/fortune-500-company.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-10391795938364713852014-06-12T22:20:00.000-05:002014-06-14T17:26:32.551-05:00The Death Knell of my Nonprofit Career<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not often that I am completely caught off guard, but
this definitely took me by surprise. It
was a normal Thursday, a little chilly compared to the rest of the week, but
still good bubble weather. I stopped at
Target on my way in (as I do about once a week) since my friend Bella was in
dire need of caffeine, and since I needed snacks for my drawer it was no
hardship. I got my desk in order and
promptly dove into the large stack of financial aid applications. In retrospect there were a few things that
should have tipped me off that something was not right.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I suppose I need to provide a little bit of background
information. I worked for a non-profit
organization that works in conjunction with other organizations to strengthen
and build communities. Every employee
and volunteer needs to pass a criminal background check since our organization
works with children and potentially sensitive information. My last few weeks have been occupied by
processing mounds of financial aid application, and hundreds of product request
forms. I had been sending out emails by
the hundreds, asking for additional information in order to process the
applications, and I began getting responses in the beginning of June.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-death-knell-of-my-nonprofit-career.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-56889580306416370322014-06-04T21:38:00.000-05:002014-06-05T16:40:23.236-05:00Hashtag Srsly PplI am now officially a cranky old lady. I took Ashley to the doctor this morning because her face looked awful; she woke up in the morning with little red dots all over her face and a red patch around her eye. The doctor declared my baby was suffering from a bad eczema flare up with a dash of heat rash just to make things more interesting. By the way, if any divine entities read my blog, have pity on me and stop making my life more ‘interesting’. The Doctor prescribed a special antibiotic cream for the skin around Ashley’s eye, something that wouldn't hurt or cause damage to her eye, and then suggested I put her lotion on at every opportunity. <br><br>Since they were celebrating the August birthdays at school today, I made her go to school directly after the appointment. We got lucky and found her teacher right away since they were having a fun day outside with all sorts of fun activities. Ms. Johnson was in the classroom for a cool down after having taken a quick bathroom break. This is only significant for the fact that Ms. Johnson is now 7 months pregnant with twin girls and has all my sympathy. If I had the time, motivation, or even just my own place I would have thrown her a baby shower.<br><br><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2014/06/hashtag-srsly-ppl.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-68129768343863146102014-04-10T00:57:00.000-05:002014-07-23T13:01:22.256-05:00Hold your voteI have had no less than two fights with my husband this week, about two completely different things. The first argument was after his visa appointment; when he went to the consulate they told him that he needed to pay for the appointment and bring all the appropriate documents with him. He accused me at the top of his lungs of not telling him to bring the documents I sent nor did I mention he would have to pay for the appointment. It says in the last six or seven messages I sent him before the interview that he needed to print all the attachments to bring with him and that the money was in the account to pay the $230 appointment fee. It was a pointless argument since he retrieved the paperwork and they allowed him to interview later that afternoon (thank God). Thankfully Alberto is not one to stay angry very long and Lord knows I can't stay made at him because he is, after all, just a man.<br><br>The second argument was in regards to our darling daughter Ashley. She was in class when she took a pair of scissors and began cutting her hair. Since to the best of my knowledge they do not cover hair-styling 101 in Kindergarten these days, she was caught and the teacher emailed me about the incident. There was a picture of the small pile of hair under a chair as well as a picture of Ashley herself with the most hangdog expression you could ever imagine. Since this was just an interesting point in a child's life, I posted the story on my Facebook page with the pictures her teacher had sent me. <br><br><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2014/04/hold-your-vote.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-91687930235502115952014-03-22T12:23:00.000-06:002014-04-26T12:40:00.712-05:00More of the Same<div dir="ltr">
I've really bad about keeping my blog up to date, which I'm sure by now many of you have noticed. I will, as I have in the past, create posts that cover events that have happened since the end of October. There just isn't a lot to write about during that period of time. Perhaps it would be easier if I committed to writing a minimum of a paragraph each week and posting that as I go, since it the length requirement in my head that keeps me from writing more often.<br>
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Since October, our I-130 was approved for the second time and was forwarded to the NVC for processing. I then sifted through 7399+ pages of documents to find names, addresses, and phone number for each employer my husband had since he arrived in the United States. We can all be thankful to my packrat tendencies which have saved us several times in the last 6 years. The down side is that this does make my room a veritable mess at the best of time since I am in a perpetual state of cleaning and organization - which I never manage to finish because God forbid people leave me alone for a solid hour at a time.</div>
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</div><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2014/03/more-of-same.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-60498058468421622552013-12-11T01:42:00.000-06:002014-11-12T13:43:31.968-06:00Entreaty for ChoresI need something to do. I must have something to do before I go insane. Our wedding anniversary is coming up fast with Christmas only a few days afterwards. I emailed Molly and Lance begging for some assignments that I could complete to begin the update of our I601 waiver.<br>
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Ashley is finally recovering from a bout with <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/strep-throat/basics/definition/con-20022811">strep throat</a>, for which I am eternally grateful. She woke me up a few nights ago with a fever of 105.6° which prompted me to take her to see the doctor first thing in the morning. The fast strep test results were almost instantaneous, but I still had to wait for my mom to come home from her half day at work so I could pick up her antibiotics. I really didn't think the people shopping at Target would appreciate someone bring their sick and contagious child into the store, even if it was to pick up the medicine. I would have done it if there were no other option, but thankfully it has never come to that.<br>
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</div><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/12/entreaty-for-chores.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-73866732460249865672013-12-03T23:59:00.000-06:002014-10-21T12:33:56.320-05:00Denied the RainbowIt's so difficult to continue living when what you want most is only just beyond your reach. Naturally I am talking about my afternoon craving for skittles and the demonic vending machine that refused to dispense them after gleefully accepting my dollar. My afternoon without skittles was horrifically long and devoid of sweetness. It is cruel and unusual punishment to be denied the rainbow when you are a sugar fiend like me.<br>
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I've just completed what may be the most pant-shittingly terrifying thing I’ve done in recent history. I officially dropped health insurance coverage through the non-profit I work for to take advantage of ACA (aka Obamacare). I will save over $400 a month on premiums and will have a yearend savings of approximately $5000. The only thought I had while I was reviewing the numbers before purchasing my policy was, if only Alberto were home that money could go towards the purchase of a newer car. I dream endlessly of owning a new car; a vehicle that only I have driven daily and the history of which is not the great unknown. I’m tired of my Volkswagen, even though I do have to admit it has held up well despite all the abuse and neglect it receives from me. That fact does not make me hate Hans any less. Hans is my Volkswagen; it’s only fitting that I would give it a German name and a name that is associated with the villain of one of my favorite action films - Die Hard.<br>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/12/denied-rainbow.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-74324678865611346102013-11-02T12:41:00.000-06:002014-06-05T12:18:07.430-05:00Into the Den of JackelsThis post has been a long time coming, but it is still in fresh in my mind as though it were only yesterday. Knowing myself intimately the way I do, I decided that I should schedule myself a bunch of appointments to help keep myself occupied while I waited impatiently for the interview to come to pass. The first stop of the day was to get some testing for an allergy study. They did a blood test and a quick review of my nose and mouth to see if there was anything that was prevent me from qualifying for the study. I'm hoping I hear back from them since this would potentially add a few extra Benjamins to my wallet at a time when I find myself in need of some extra money.<br>
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I arrived at the building where the interview would take place a little earlier than I had hope. It was closer to 30 minutes before the interview instead of the 15 minutes I had planned on. This gave me ample time to rifle through the paperwork I brought with me, obtain a paper-cut, put a hole in my nylons, pick at the hangnail next to my new paper-cut, and make a mess out of my hair under the pretense of fixing it. After seeing the damage I did to my hair in the rear view mirror of my car, I decided it was probably better if I just went in the building to pace about at my leisure.<br>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/11/into-den-of-jackels.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-40823889538259751152013-10-31T13:44:00.000-06:002014-04-26T12:39:39.882-05:00All Hallows EveI just have to breathe in, exhale, and repeat. I’ve turned in my evidence, picked out my outfit, and worked out my schedule to the minute. My information packet was over 200 pages, and included some unusual sources such as the visitor records from the County Jail where Alberto was held the longest.<br>
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I’ve had my meeting with Lance to prepare for the interview tomorrow. He said that the interviewer needs to like me, so I need to keep my temper in check. I’ve been practicing some breathing techniques and some of the answers to anticipated questions that could set me off. Lance made sure to tell me what to expect during the interview and let me know that it will be his job to get mad regarding all these extra steps we’ve had to take because of USCIS errors. I’ve repacked my purse, removing anything that is not essential and my dangerous weapons (i.e. small manicure set). I have the passports, a wallet-size picture of Ashley, and my bracelet that will supposedly protect me against the evil eye. I’ve always thought it was funny how superstitious a person can get on the night before or day of an important event.<br>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/10/all-hallows-eve.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-90258860416402279022013-10-12T03:07:00.000-05:002013-12-09T15:23:46.744-06:00Crafting Arrows for BattleI received the I-130 interview letter this week from the USCIS. Molly sent me a copy via email along with a memorandum that outlines the categories for which I should supply proofs to support the status of our very real relationship. The 5 categories that I need to cover are: 1) Evidence of Visits and Communication, 2) Financial Records for Joint Assets or Liabilities, 3) Birth Certificate of Child Born to the Marriage, 4) Statements from at Least Three Persons, 5) Other Evidence Establishing a Bona Fide Relationship. I immediately made a list of what I had in my files or could obtain and sent that information back to Molly asking if there was anything I might be overlooking. I also mentioned that some of the documentation I don’t have copies of (i.e. last bank account we held jointly) should be in the waiver packet we sent back in February of 2012. Lance said, “Just add to the heap of paper post waiver submission.” Ok, that gives me a starting point!<br>
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I opened my copy of the waiver and reviewed the table of contents and scrolled through some of the pages to see what they already had. I started a table of contents for the documents I was going to give Lance and Molly since I am nothing if not obsessively organized when it comes to anything immigration related. At the end of day one, I had printed and cataloged over one hundred pages of supporting documentation that I had on my flash drive. Those hundred pages were almost exclusively tax returns from 2007 through 2012 and I didn’t print copies of W2s or other supporting documentation. <br>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/10/crafting-arrows-for-battle.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-83214726903771685622013-09-27T20:51:00.000-05:002013-10-11T11:06:48.652-05:00*facepalm*There are no words to describe how I feel at this moment in time. I’ve been betrayed by my government, and the relationship that has spanned nearly half my life has been called into question. I don’t expect perfection from anyone, but for the love of bacon why can’t we count on a certain level of competence from people that have the power to change lives? In my last post I spoke of mistakes; I acknowledge that we are all wrong from time to time and I consider errors to be a part of the learning process. The problem is, you can only learn from your mistakes if you acknowledge their existence in the first place.<br><br>I’m sure by now you’re wondering what blunder was committed that has me so upset. As you might recall I received a case update regarding the I-130 petition that said initial processing, a status which made me quite angry. The USCIS has rescinded the approval of our I-130 petition pending an interview with them. I understand that there was a breakdown in the process and that our petition was approved after a swift kick in the ass from Senator Franken, but this is almost too much. It is the policy of the USCIS to interview every couple that files the I-130 petition while the beneficiary is in removal proceedings, or if the couple has been married less than 2 years at the time of filing. Alberto and I had only been married 3 months when the I-130 was filed, in the midst of his removal proceedings, so you see there is a reason for this development.<br><br>
<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/09/facepalm.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-37535244020918785592013-09-22T22:50:00.000-05:002013-10-09T17:51:10.265-05:00Really?As if I wasn’t already annoyed enough, I received the following email from the USCIS case status system:<br><br><br>Application Type: I130, IMMIGRANT PETITION FOR RELATIVE, FIANCE(E), OR ORPHAN<br> <br> Your Case Status: Initial Review<br> <br> We transferred your I130, IMMIGRANT PETITION FOR RELATIVE, FIANCE(E), OR ORPHAN, to your local USCIS Office for further processing. The new office has jurisdiction over your case and will send you a decision as soon as processing is complete or you will be notified if further information or action is needed. If you move, please use our Change of Address online tool to update your case with your new address.<br><br>If you have questions or concerns about your application or the case status results listed above, or if you have not received a decision from USCIS within the current processing time listed*, please contact USCIS Customer Service at (800) 375-5283.<br> <br> *Current processing times can be found on the USCIS website at <a href="http://www.uscis.gov/">www.uscis.gov</a> under Check Processing Times.<br> <br> *** Please do not respond to this e-mail message.<br> <br> Sincerely,<br> <br> The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS)<br>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/09/really.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-84215587826299954552013-08-28T22:06:00.000-05:002013-10-08T17:07:51.387-05:00Delay of GameIn effort to give my child summer memories that she will hopefully look back upon fondly, I signed Ashley up for Summer Power and Day Camp through our local YMCA. Summer Power went as expected, she got to go on fieldtrips and made new friends while in a safe environment that was significantly cheaper than Preschool. We did have a few behavioral issues the first few weeks, but I’m hoping that this transition from Preschool to Summer Power will help her make a smooth transition into Kindergarten. I have a meet the teacher and Kindergarten orientation event coming up that I need to be prepared for. I had been watching the advertisements for the last month to see who would offer the best deal on the supplies she is responsible to bring to school on her first day. In the end I still ended up going to Target, and I’m sure that my $20 was well spent. I need to start going through her clothing and weed out the items that are too small and supplement whatever is left with a well-timed shopping trip to Once Upon a Child. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my neighborhood second-hand stores; I only wish they had more selection for women my size.<br><br>I swear that if I had the money I would quit my job and make it my mission in life to harass the USCIS into compliance. Our attorney went to an InfoPass appointment earlier this week and was told that our file was in Minnesota for nearly a year before being transferred out to the California Service Center near the end of April. Our file then spent its summer vacation lazing on the beach in the California sun under review where just last week it was referred for a special internal review due to ‘security reasons’. At this time our file is still in California under this special review. If nothing else this appointment served to show that a band of rabid chimpanzees are more organized than the USCIS on a good day.<br><br>
<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/08/delay-of-game.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-38525342545133638792013-08-13T21:42:00.000-05:002013-10-08T17:04:28.673-05:00MonotonyAugust is really no better than July was for depressing events. Alberto was deported this month last year, his birthday was last week, and I have a baby shower to go to. I’m happy for my cousin, this is her first baby after all, but honestly I thought Ashley would have a little brother or sister on the way by now at the very least. My baby-fever is awful and unfortunately there is no cure that I can partake of when I’m 2000 miles away from my husband. It’s probably not as bad for me as it is for others given that I know I am capable of having children, but still my coworkers are waddling and dammit I want to waddle too!<br>
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Ashley’s birthday is just around the corner and I haven’t gotten my plans for her party smoothed out. It never occurred to me just how much of a disadvantage it was to have a birthday in August. She isn’t in Preschool anymore so I don’t have an easy way to contact her friends and the ones I have been able to get ahold of so far are going to be on vacation the weekend that Ashley’s party is set to take place on. I’ve decided that a bowling party would be the best option for this year; the price for the party is per child and includes pizza and pop, 1 hour of bowling, bowling shoes, 1 hour in the party room, and I only have to pay for the kids that show up. Pretty sweet deal if I do say so myself. It makes me sad to know that Ashley will be starting Kindergarten and Alberto is going to miss that milestone too.<br>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/08/monotony.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-67105085414996573912013-07-31T22:04:00.000-05:002013-09-03T17:49:53.456-05:00The doctor is… IN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivm6HcPcCz6YK0paAhbwfRAFKLr0P0v0AgNa6TSqaAWs2cheYxmc6Z23vICpgX7ihoLR13t6p9LMAEIN9w1EhCkIRIzruzALZ9XvSJYvrOolanuJqvf9YQWacBLnVl8SKAO_4tnPVPUekO/s1600/Dr+Lucy+is+IN.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivm6HcPcCz6YK0paAhbwfRAFKLr0P0v0AgNa6TSqaAWs2cheYxmc6Z23vICpgX7ihoLR13t6p9LMAEIN9w1EhCkIRIzruzALZ9XvSJYvrOolanuJqvf9YQWacBLnVl8SKAO_4tnPVPUekO/s200/Dr+Lucy+is+IN.bmp" width="200"></a></div>
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The answer to life, the universe, and everything is apparently ‘more drugs’. I finally got in to see my psychiatrist, who will now be known as Dr. Lucy, on Tuesday and she said we should try adding Zoloft to the Wellbutrin XL. The ultimate goal of this is to bring my anxiety back down to a manageable level. Apparently it’s not normal to feel like you’re choking 99% percent of the time. She also said that adding Zoloft might help with my sleeping problems, because not sleeping is a problem, since my body treated Celexa as a depressant. It was helpful in that I was able to live through the pain those first 9 months after Alberto left, but utterly useless because I became a Celexa zombie – a walking, talking, barely functioning nightmare.<br><br>Dr. Lucy is also of the opinion that I need something to do, even if that is simply preparing for the worst case scenario. She says that for someone like me, being stuck in limbo with nothing to work towards is a comparable form of torture to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rack_(torture)">rack</a>. I need work to do, a plan to make, a goal to achieve so I feel like I’m doing something positive. Whatever I do to keep busy has to be something that will occupy my mind whether I’m actively thinking about it or not. It would also be best if my goal were not exclusively linked to the worst possible outcome. Dr. Lucy suggested I make a list of tasks that would need to be complete in order to facilitate an international move, and another list of issues to solve that would make my life easier here in the US. Then I could compare the lists, find something that overlaps, and work towards solving that issue. <div>
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</div></div><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-doctor-is-in.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-37818137452467821972013-07-27T01:47:00.000-05:002013-08-31T18:27:32.209-05:00Distressing anniversariesLast week was particularly hard on me in ways that I hadn't anticipated. My psychiatrist canceled my appointment a few hours before I was supposed to go and see her. I was counting on being able to discuss my feelings and this desperate need to occupy myself with a rational third party. I had been hoping that she might have some special tip to combat the anxiety that was threatening to strangle me on a near daily basis. Maybe it's time I put some serious time into finding either a meditation or yoga class that could work with my schedule.<br>
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For the last two weeks Alberto had been sending me a message through Facebook. It wasn't elaborate, just a simple good morning, but it was really nice to know that he was thinking of me while he was 2000 miles away. One day the messages stopped without warning or any apparent reason. For two whole days I heard nothing, my phone calls to Alberto's cell phone didn't ring half the time and my calls to the Madrina weren't going through either. By the time I got through to the Comadre I had envisioned a catastrophe and Alberto in the hospital with no way to communicate with me. The Comadre said that Alberto was still in Mexico City and working in the store, so I asked her to tell the Compadre to have Alberto contact me. <br>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/07/distressing-anniversaries.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-26778689774741461532013-07-07T22:24:00.000-05:002013-09-03T15:02:50.350-05:00Feats of Cognitive AbilitySometimes I wish I could shut done my brain for a while and just drift. I annoy myself with my inability to wait and see. I had intended to wait the 45 day period that we agreed on before I started emailing everyone again, only to discover I couldn't even wait two weeks. After a record-breaking 10 days of practicing impatience, I emailed Lance pleading for something to do.<br>
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<b>To: Lance</b><br>
<br>
I was wondering if there was an Action Plan in place for whatever it is that may (or may not) happen next in regards to our case. It's not easy for me to take a step back when I have been purposefully making a pest of myself, but I believe if I knew the possible outcomes as you perceive them it would be easier for me to let go for a little while. <br>
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I need something occupy myself while I am stuck waiting (im)patiently once again, so if you have a list of documents that I should retrieve or some other feats of amazing cognitive ability that need to be performed, please let me know.<br>
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I will be seeing my psychiatrist again week after next, so hopefully she can help me locate my mind if I have lost it by then. :)<br>
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Deza<br>
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<a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/07/feats-of-cognitive-ability.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-63631527199838932352013-06-26T21:19:00.000-05:002013-08-30T13:51:04.512-05:00CISOMB gracefully backs outThe title of this post says it all doesn’t it?<br><br><br><b>To: Deza</b><br><br>I heard back from Senator Franken’s Office. They informed me that they have been in touch with the California Service Center (CSC), and the CSC is currently working on locating your husband’s file to address it. As I mentioned in our phone call, when two government offices duplicate a request to CSC it may only cause delays rather than expedite a resolution. Since Senator Franken’s office has already initiated a request to CSC on your behalf, our office will close your inquiry. However, if you find that at some point in the future you need our help, we will be happy to reopen your inquiry and see how we can assist you.<br><br>I wish you the best of luck as you work to resolve your husband’s case. Many thanks,<br>Lara<br><br> <br><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/06/cisomb-gracefully-backs-out.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-73243251084076447762013-06-21T20:04:00.000-05:002013-08-30T12:58:51.765-05:00And then the phone rang...I very rarely get phone calls, which probably has something to do with my hatred of talking on the phone, so whenever my phone rings I typically let it go to voicemail. This also serves the purpose of allowing me to screen my calls so I can avoid whichever collection agency is trying to contact me. Fools – you can’t collect from someone that doesn’t have any money. The only problem with this practice is my cell phone does not like dialing numbers or allowing me to access my call log; it routinely freezes or force-closes whenever I wish to call someone that is not in my contacts. I’m sure you can imagine the sense of panic I feel when the voicemail of a screened call is so important that I need to call the individual back immediately. Today was one of those times.<br><br>My phone rang and I almost answered it. It was a Washington D.C. area code, a fact I was aware of due to my previous experience with the CISOMB office. After a few moments of debate, I decided that letting it go to voicemail is the best course of action. If it was the government, I would be forewarned and if it was some other entity I probably didn’t want to talk to them anyway. <br><br><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/06/and-then-phone-rang.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-65316158734776680512013-06-20T20:05:00.000-05:002013-07-25T19:29:14.548-05:00Why ME... continued...<div dir="ltr">
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This post is but a continuation of
the previous days post as I'm sure you could guess by the title. If you
though the last post was enough to provoke a saint to violence... just
wait until you read this.</div>
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<i>Dear Deza
Mendez,</i></div>
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<i>We are sorry that you did not
receive the USCIS response you desired. We will keep your inquiry closed,
as your email requests, because Senator Al Franken’s staff is currently working
to resolve your issue with USCIS. Please do not hesitate to contact our
office in the future.</i></div>
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<i>Sincerely,</i></div>
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<i>Office of the Citizenship and
Immigration Services Ombudsman</i></div>
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The author of this email cowardly
neglected to put their initials on this email, but perhaps this was the point
that drove me to write what is the best scathing email I have crafted to
date. I was beyond enraged after reading the first sentence that I saw
nothing but red for a minute or three. Knowing my temper the way I do, I
consulted briefly with Lance to ensure that he didn't want us to let the case
become closed. He said that I should not allow them to close it and so I
lowered the boom... This email I am about to post here was sent to every
individual and email address I had for the CISOMB office as well as to Diana,
Lance, Graciela, and Molly. This email I am about to post was GLORIOUS, a
work or art, a thing of beauty, and crafted by the angriest woman in the world
if only for that brief moment in time.</div>
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<i>Dear Anonymous CIS Employee:</i></div>
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<em>I apologize for a delay in my
reply but to tell you the truth I was flabbergasted when I read your
response. I am curious to know how you determined that I was requesting
to close my inquiry, when in fact I was expressing my bewilderment at the gross
misunderstanding I am suffering at the hands of USCIS and now the CIS Ombudsman
office. </em></div>
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<em>I need the assistance of the
CIS Ombudsman as even the office of Senator Al Franken is receiving conflicting
information when USCIS deigns to answer their inquiries. We have been
caught in this no-man’s land for 6 months, and been trapped in immigration
proceedings for an additional 5 years on top of that. Please assist the
Senator’s liaison to receive our file with all due haste so that we may
continue the process. I outlined the path we wish to follow, which was confirmed
by our attorney Lance, in my first reply within this email thread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please ensure that our attorney, Lance, is
not left out of any future correspondence.</em></div>
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<em>I trust that the CIS Ombudsman
office now understands the scope of my request for assistance and the enormous
impact they may have on the life of a little girl who misses her daddy
terribly.</em></div>
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<em>Thank you again for your
assistance and do not hesitate to contact me and our attorney Lance for</em> <em>additional
information,</em></div>
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<em>Deza Mendez</em></div>
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I did not receive any further
response from the CISOMB, or Lance on this day. The story doesn't end
here, and damn it felt AWESOME to send that email.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p> </o:p></div>
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Ciao<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
</div>
</div>
Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8548334653285081282.post-56982143684733628792013-06-19T21:22:00.000-05:002013-07-25T19:32:01.315-05:00Why ME?!<div dir="ltr">
You know, there are days when I can almost believe that I must have done something horrible in a past life to earn this ridiculous turn of events. Let me show you the latest string of emails between myself, the CIS Ombudsman office, and our attorney that demonstrate the shabby treatment I receive on a regular basis.<br>
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</div><a href="http://80proof-lemonade.blogspot.com/2013/06/why-me.html#more">Read more »</a>Deza Mendezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00082470271560012311noreply@blogger.com0