Dear readers, I have to admit I’m a little apprehensive of what the future holds for us. Above and beyond the legal and immigration issues, I’m experiencing a whole different type of anxiety I hadn’t anticipated. How am I going to make the transition back to an intimate relationship with my husband? Will I acclimate to his snoring easily or will I want to smother him with a pillow after the first few nights? I also remember him being a cover hog and a restless sleeper when over tired. I know it shouldn’t be an issue but I’m still the same weight as I was after Ashley was born. It makes me uncomfortable knowing that although I haven’t gotten any worse, I definitely have not gotten any better. Alberto says that how we look outside doesn’t matter because it’s what we have in our hearts that makes us truly beautiful, which is utterly amazing coming from him because he has never talked like that before.
To be truthful he has never been one to declare his feelings verbally, so you could say I went through most of our relationship guessing how he felt. I can count on my fingers and toes the number of times I can remember him saying “Te amo” before he left for Mexico and still have digits to spare! Alberto is the reason I always said ‘Mexican men are emotionally constipated’ which I usually follow up with some quip about how alcohol is a natural laxative for this affliction. The only time I can remember Alberto committing a spontaneous PDA was when he’d been drinking and grabbed my posterior in front of his brother. Considering I had just saved him from getting carted off to jail for being a moron, it was the least of my worries. This time he has spent in jail has been good for him because he’s learning to express what he would never say before.
My last packet of letters from Alberto was yet another eye-opener in a series of revelations about how much I have changed these last 4 years. Alberto stated several times that he must have offended me or something because I don’t talk anymore like I used to. Now I feel bad because I’m not talkative when I used to annoy the hell out of him when I was a chatterbox. In order to explain this difference you have to know that when Alberto met me over 10 years ago, I was an outgoing chatterbox. I used to repeat myself constantly when I ran out of things to talk about to the point that I was pretty annoying (or so I was told). It took a lot of concentrated effort for me to learn how to deal with just being quiet, which came in handy since I married a man who is not talkative in the least bit.
On another note, my cousin Lynn called me today to ask if I’d had issues with Lance as an attorney or with his firm in general. To be truthful I haven’t had any issues since our very first case manager left the firm as she rarely did anything that resembled work in regards to our case. After my favorite case manager left the firm to live abroad with her husband I have been stuck with another person that seems to want to avoid all work on our case. This is beside the point; anyway my cousin’s husband is livid that they have paid Lance $3,000 essentially for Lynn to do any and all work related to their case. They can’t make the house payment this month, nor were they able to last month because of the attorney’s and immigration fees. She ended the call rapidly because the firm was calling her back finally, so I sent Lance an email about her concerns. She called me back to thank me for emailing Lance and looking out for her family. Lynn jokingly asked Lance if I had an ‘in’ with him, to which he responded that I did since my name had me placed at the top of his incoming emails list. No wonder he responds to me so quickly, I’m on his A list!
“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.”
Gillian Anderson
Ciao
You and your husband are the opposite of me and javi. I am the quiet one and it is very hard to express my feelings and he is the exact opposite. I remember thinking I could not understand everything that he was saying, but man he could talk.
ReplyDeleteDefinately opposites since threat of (tickle) torture couldn't make my husband talk if he was not so inclined.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, bottling up his feelings and conversation required a monthly purge; 4 to 5 hours of Alberto talking without much of a break. He would choose the one time when escape was not an option: 10 pm through 2 am or beyond. It's not healthy to hold things in like that!