Thursday, June 7, 2012

Slowly losing my mind

I hate this.  I hate how it feels to wait for something so long and then when it’s finally about to happen I manage to freak myself out.  I hate that I can’t sit still and can barely focus.  Tonight I will hate it even more when I can’t sleep.  Luckily I’ve only emailed the attorney once today, about 10 minutes ago, and I’m trying very hard not to email him again.  He’ll understand, won’t he?  I mean Lance was there when I flipped the f*** out the day the Consulate in Cuidad Juarez called 3 times and I was unable to call them back… (see below) 

To: Lance
The Embassy called, I missed the call.  They're trying to get a hold of Alberto.  I've called several times, the menu is not working so I can't get through. 
I'm having a mild panic attack here, so what else can I do?
Deza

To: Deza
Cc: Emma
Please calm down.   They probably are just looking to reschedule a follow-up interview before clearing him to the waiver stage.  It does take several times to get through to the consulate. 
Just keep trying.
Sincerely,
Lance

To: Lance
Cc: Emma
It is literally impossible for me to not panic when something like this happens.  Now that I have calmed down somewhat, I have been gifted with a massive headache for having been in such a state.  Trust me, this is something I avoid at all costs.
The gentleman from the Embassy who originally called me, called back and it was then I was able to speak with him.  I did advise him about the issue regarding the phone, so at least now they know about it.
They scheduled the follow-up interview with Alberto.  It will be on May 23rd at 8am.  They said they will tell him at the interview whether or not they will allow him to apply for the waiver appointment.
What do you need from me to complete the Waiver packet at this point?
Thank you,
Deza

I had only been working at my new job temp job for about a month when this happened.  This was the day I learned what a wonderful and supportive group of people I worked with.  I had a full scale panic attack; my blood was roaring in my ears, my head was pounding, and tears were burning in my eyes.  My chest hurt from the effort it took to just keep breathing deeply and evenly so I wouldn’t pass out.  Joelle, my supervisor, took me to an empty office so I could make calls to find out what was going on.  She told me to take whatever time I needed and would let me go home if that would help.  I stayed at work although I don’t think I accomplished anything that day.




“A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause.  Panic attacks can be very frightening.  When panic attacks occur, you might think you’re losing control, having a heart attack, or even dying.”



Ciao

1 comment:

  1. I am sorry this happened. I know how you feel, it is very scary to experience. It is so creepy losing the control and not being able to get a handle on the situation. Sending good thoughts your way.

    ReplyDelete